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For years, I’ve been fascinated by the amateur girls who sign up to be filmed while visiting a gloryhole. So many of them appear to be average women with a certain, special affinity for sucking cock. What’s it like to be one of those women? What could motivate a woman to risk the exposure of sucking cock on video for money? And how does she deal with it afterward? Read on as we explore the thoughts of one such woman wrestling with the decision to do it and how it made her feel. All heterosexual sex ahead!
The shame kicked in as soon as the adrenaline high faded. “You did great, Susan. Really good. Few women can do what you did today, only the special ones, and you are very special.” Gary’s earnest support sounded sincere and still felt hollow. His website had a hundred other girls who had done the same thing. She wasn’t one in a hundred, she was one of a hundred with a hundred more to come. How special could she really be?
“You’re just being nice.” Suzanne dismissed his praise with a wave of her hand. That was before her hands started shaking again. What qualified as good? She had been a willing, wet, warm hole for those guys.
“I’m serious, Girl. I bet I go through a thousand emails before finding one woman willing to do it.”
“Then I’m one in a thousand.”
“More like one in ten thousand or even a hundred thousand,” he insisted. Pulling his hand from the steering wheel, Gary nearly patted her knee before replacing it. Suzanne appreciated his control. She didn’t want to be touched at the moment. She didn’t deserve to be touched. “Seriously, Susie-Q, what you did was remarkable.”
“It’s Suzanne,” she corrected. “Not Sue, Susan, and definitely not Susie-Q.”
Unfazed by her rebuke, Gary flashed his big smile and nodded “Well, Suzanne, even if you never do this again, you did it once. You did something few women could do. You were brave, fierce, and owned it. You did good.”
“I did it for the money,” she said, still clutching the rolled-up stack of bills inside her sweaty fist.
“You’re a performer, not a whore.”
Her reply did not honor the value she found in his comment. Feeling better about what she had done would take longer than a single car ride. “Is there a difference?”
Gary chuckled. “According to my performer friends, probably not.”
“Do all your performer friends do what I do?”
He shook his head. “Most of them are musicians. A couple singers, but mostly guitarists, drummers, bass players. You get it.”
She didn’t see the parallel. “I guess we’re all whores in our own way, aren’t we?”
He pulled up to her car near the last row of the grocery store with the unfortunate name. Summer Fresh certainly suggested fresh produce, unless you said the name out loud with a bit of a slur and it sounded more like you were saying, “Some are fresh.” Sitting in Gary’s car for a moment longer, she watched Moms with carts filled with toddlers, groceries, and diapers. Could she still become one of them? Once that video hit the interwebs, would any man ever want her again?
“Keep this,” she said, shoving the money back at him. “Keep this and destroy that video.”
“I can’t do that,” Gary said in a very measured tone. “That’s your money. You earned it.”
“I don’t want it.”
“Yes, you do,” he said in the same carefully modulated tone. “You want and need it or else you wouldn’t have met with me.”
“Maybe I just wanted to do it,” she said, feeling frantic. She couldn’t let that video hit the internet. What if an old boyfriend saw it? Or her Dad? Or anyone? “Maybe I just wanted to suck a bunch of anonymous dick.”
“You could have done that without me.”
“Maybe I have, you don’t know!”
Gary laughed again. “You’re right, I don’t, except I know your type. You liked the fantasy of it and you liked doing it, too. You liked the idea of being bad and the thrill that anyone might find out. What’s done is done. Everyone is going to know and there’s nothing you can do about it.”
“Not if you don’t pay me for my services.”
“You mean performance,” he carefully altered. “You did not provide me a service, you performed for my camera. Big difference. I hired you as a performer and you signed the contract. Like it or not, that gives me a legal right to use your image however I see fit.”
“Not if I didn’t get paid.”
“Except you did.”
She wanted to throw the money in his face, except she couldn’t let go of it. She needed this stack of hundred dollar bills. Her car needed it. Her cat needed it. Even her pantry needed it. “I didn’t get paid if I give it back to you.”
She watched Gary’s patience leaving his sparkling blue eyes. She saw the pupils narrowing into pinpoints. His eyes changed from kind and merry to hard and piercing. “You gave up the rights to your image when you signed that contract. Whether you are paid for your performance or not, I’m still posting it and there’s nothing you can do about it.”
That’s when the tears started. Tears escort ankara and begging as her mind went into overdrive for the loophole she couldn’t see. “Then let me buy the rights back.”
Gary’s sharp bark of laughter startled her as the merry look returned to his face. “Sure! Fifty thousand dollars sounds about right.”
“What the fuck?”
His smile grew even bigger. “Do you have any idea how much it’s worth to my website to have a pretty face like yours on the homepage? You’re money in the bank for me, girlfriend. Money in MY bank account.”
“You are such a fucking dick!”
“I’m a businessman, baby. Welcome to the porn business.”
Through eyes still wet with tears, Suzanne glared at him as hate-filled her every fiber.
“And let me tell you, everyone is going to love seeing that pretty face filled with all those cocks. All of them, girlfriend. Remember the little shrimpy one that spewed so much cum? Or those big black cocks you sucked? Had you ever tasted a BBC before today? Oh yeah, and what about that uncut one! You loved that one, didn’t you?”
She pulled the door handle with the panicked, needful force of a fighter pilot pulling the ejection lever on a plane destined for a crash. She erupted from the low-slung sports car with leather seats and a sound system that had engulfed her with music and darted for her car, fumbling for keys to unlock a car no one would ever try to steal.
“Call me when you need another payday,” Gary said, climbing out of his car to shut the door left open on the passenger’s side.
Suzanne twisted the key in her car’s ignition with a prayer that it might start on the first try. Fortune favored her. Dragging the selector into drive, she sped off with only one direction in mind, Away! She got as far as the McDonald’s parking lot one block away before tears made her vision too blurry to drive. “FUCK!” she screamed, beating her steer wheel with clenched fists. “FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!”
The tears lasted longer than she wanted. Everything did. The drive home. The walk up the stairs to her apartment and the long shower she took trying to wash away the memory of her sins. So many cocks.
* * *
“You are doing so good,” Gary whispered inside the tiny booth. At least he didn’t smell bad. According to him, this was one of the bigger booths. Porn played on the TV screen with the sound muted. The LED ring light around the lens of his camera messed with Suzanne’s night vision turning Gary into nothing more than a vague man-sized shape and soothing voice. “Only three more to go before you break the record.”
“What record?” she asked, poking two fingers through one of the holes in the wall. She could see the man inside the neighboring booth. Surely, he could see the bright light streaming from her booth to his and knew what it meant. He fed bills into the machine as he stroked the front of his jeans. He started to turn up the volume. Suzanne spoke through the hole. “Keep the volume low, please.”
“Yeah, okay,” the man grunted, eyeing the hole as he fished inside his pants.
“What record?” she asked again.
“Most cocks in a single day,” Gary replied, still filming. Could you still call it filming when it’s was shot on digital? Suzanne found the technology fascinating. She had recognized the camera as soon as she had seen it. The large-format, DSL camera took stills or high-quality video. “Only three more to go.”
“How many have I done so far?”
“Six,” he lied. “Maybe seven.” Suzanne knew it was a lie. She put the number at nine or ten. “Like I said, four more to beat the record.”
“I thought you said three?”
“Three to tie, four to break,” he said, stooping to get a good shot of the Caucasian cock slipping through the hole towards Suzanne’s waiting mouth. She flashed his camera a smile and held the first open mouth lick for a moment before engulfing the pleasantly average sized cock. Her chest felt slimy from cum and drool. She caressed a breast, smearing the running glob of semen dripping between her tits like sweat. Hell, maybe it was sweat? She couldn’t be sure. Sweat, semen, or drool from her mouth, did it really matter?
Cupping her tongue on the underside of the man’s cock in her mouth, she moved her head back and forth in slow strokes for the camera. The anonymous man’s cock felt good against her tongue. Unlike the last guy, this one didn’t smell funky and he had shaved. So many of the guys had either shaved or trimmed their pubes. Had that been pre-arranged? Was that something guys who visit gloryholes usually did? She had no idea.
The man on the other side of the plywood knocked three times, a sign that his orgasm would soon happen. She had given up trying to figure out how they knew to do that. For all she knew, there was a sign on the other side of the wall with instructions or maybe it was common etiquette? Those were questions for another day, for this moment, she knew what she had to do as Gary pushed himself esenyurt escort closer to the wall to get the best shot.
Suzanne opened her mouth wide as the moaning man behind the wall released his load. Some of his jizz slipped off her tongue while she showed her cum-coated tongue to the camera. She swallowed the rest without savoring the taste. She flashed the camera a big smile. “Perfect,” Gary assured her. Spying another droplet oozing from the man’s tip, she quickly lapped it up before he retreated. “Yes! Good! Great!” Sated, the man pulled away and Suzanne tried to spy on his face as he bent to pull up his pants. Like the other men, he looked older and very average. She wished she could know more about him.
“You’ve got another customer,” Gary pointed out, pulling away to capture a shot of the opposite wall where another man had already shoved his big prick through the hole.
“Only three more, right?”
“Four,” Gary corrected. She didn’t trust his math, but did it matter? Performing a well-orchestrated ballet, they moved to the opposite wall for a repeat performance on a thicker cock with bulbous, mushroom head. Suzanne wanted to fuck a cock like that at some point. Fucking a cock with that shape seemed interesting to her. Fucking a cock with that shape would be more interesting than sucking it. She opened her mouth and gave Gary the shot he required before wrapping her lips around it and doing what she could to get the new man off.
It didn’t require much finesse to get off the man with the pronounced mushroom-shaped head to his prick. Within a couple of minutes, he knocked and came with more force than she expected. Giggling, she pulled back and got a spurt of creamy white cum across the bridge of her nose for pulling away. She wiped off her face, scooping up the cum and fingering it into her mouth. “Now I’m down to just three more for the record, right?”
“Something like that,” Gary assured her. “You might want to try to do four more just to make sure. I might not be able to use footage of every guy.”
“Probably,” he laughed. “Speaking of which . . .”
Suzanne turned her head and saw another cock eagerly throbbing for her attention. Something about that eager throbbing still excited her. She liked seeing a hard cock in need of satisfying as much as she enjoyed the slightly salty, sometimes acidic prize she received for a job well done.
* * *
“That man was a fucking liar, ” she told her cat. Smokey turned his head for scratches behind his left ear, too. He didn’t care about her language. “He probably thinks I wasn’t keeping count, except I was. I know how many. . . how many cocks I sucked today.” Saying that word outside the tiny booth felt funny. She wondered why they were called “cocks.” She didn’t wonder enough to go look up an answer.
“So many,” she told her purring cat. “More than all the dicks I have fucked, sucked, or jerked off up to this point in my life.” Suzanne knew her number. Numbers came easily to her. Three in high school and three more the summer after high school. She could add two more during her first year in college. Wait, three, she mentally corrected remembering that one party and the blowjob she had given as a goof.
Having a real boyfriend kept the number more reasonable during the next two years. There was Tom, the threesome with Tom and his friend added one more, and her single cheat over spring break added three more. “And you know about the two since Tom,” she told Smokey, bringing her total to fourteen.
Scritch-scratching behind the ears of her purring cat, she said her new total out loud for the first time. “Twenty-nine.” Quite unexpectedly, she shivered and felt that undeniable, tingly ache between her legs right before Smokey tried biting her hand. He had had enough of her math and scritches.
The dark-furred cat left her lap and sauntered towards his food bowl. “I don’t blame you,” she said, curling into a ball on the couch as she hugged her knees. She called after her cat with another realization, “That’s more than one a year!” With a blank stare, she rocked for a few minutes as she remembered the faces that went along with each number until the only face she could assign to the ones from today turned into Gary’s face. “Fucking jerk,” she muttered.
Fifteen dicks had meant fifteen orgasms. Each of them in her mouth. All of them swallowed or mostly swallowed. Before she dressed, Gary provided wet wipes for her chest and stomach. Cocks poked through both holes while she wiped clean her face, neck, tits, and stomach. Gary had never tried to push himself on her and never suggested she give him a courtesy blowjob. Had he pulled it out, she might have done it. Like Grandma used to say, In for a penny, in for a pound.
Suzanne picked up her phone, doing a quick fact check before opening her calculator. According to the ‘net, the average man ejaculates between 1 to 5 ml, making the biggest ones eskişehir escort around the size of a teaspoon. That didn’t feel right to her but all the science seemed to agree. Knowing some of the men had given her more than others, she arbitrarily decided they had averaged 4 ml per man. A shot of whiskey measured 1.25 ounces. After an easy conversation to milliliters, she had swallowed less than two shot glasses of cum. Less after allowing for how much she had dripped down her front.
Thinking in terms of shots made her want one of those, too. She uncurled from the couch. If there was a day that deserved the good stuff, this was that day.
* * *
After expressing her interest (and being verified as a real person), Gary had provided Suzanne with a free pass to his website. “Check it out. Watch as many vids as you want, just remember, you don’t have to get naked if that makes you uncomfortable.”
In the privacy of her little apartment, Suzanne booted up her laptop for its bigger screen. After clicking past the age verification warning, she gasped at the graphic picture filling the top half of the page. An attractive, smiling woman held her mouth open for the camera in a dark room. The goo on her tongue was unmistakable in its color and consistency. The picture faded to show the same girl holding a cock sticking through a hole in the wall. The next picture caught her mouth open with cum on her tongue while capturing another spurt of pearly white semen in midair. Again, the girl looked very happy.
Scrolling down the page showed one screen capture after another of college-aged girls up to hot looking MILFs either sucking a cock or proudly showing off the prize their sucking had earned. The erupting cocks on display looked as different as the faces of the women. Some of the women looked very attractive, a few of them looked very average and a couple of them would have benefited from a professional consultation with a dermatologist and an orthodontist.
Suzanne’s eyes couldn’t stop staring at all the cocks. So many cocks. So many hard-ons, erections, pricks, dicks, or what have you. While most were white, a few were black or brown and she felt a shiver followed by a familiar tingle. She had never tasted a black cock or a brown one. Did they feel different? Taste different? Her degree in anthropology triggered a curiosity that watching videos could never resolve.
After entering the log-in credentials Gary had provided, she looked at row after row of thumbnails each showing a close-up of a woman with her mouth wide open as she received a mouthful of cum. Overwhelmed with choices, she clicked on a title that said it was that particular woman’s first visit. Did that mean some women had visited more than once or was it wishful thinking on Gary’s part marking each video as her first time?
The woman tagged as Micah looked cute, but average, appearing vaguely Jewish in her ancestry with her hooked nose and slightly olive skin tones. Suzanne knew that didn’t mean anything, not within the great melting pot of America and its history of mixed marriages. Micah smiled for the camera. In a diluted way, Micah reminded Suzanne of the actor who had played Rachel in the old TV series “Glee.”
If Micah was nervous, it didn’t show as she smiled for the camera. After Gary asked if she was ready to do this, the first of many cocks appeared in the slot on the wall of the tiny booth. The vertical slot made more sense than a hole in the wall. How else could the opening accommodate men of different heights? As the man pressed his lower torso against the hole, the camera captured only his cock, balls, and a bit of his tummy. Suzanne longed to see more of the man. She squirmed at the idea of only being allowed to see his erection and knowing nothing more about him.
Micah had kept her make-up light and simple, she wore her long hair loose and pulled behind her back, and wasn’t naked. Suzanne breathed a sigh of relief over that last detail. Gary had said nudity was optional. In shorts and a summertime blouse, Micah looked like any other woman shopping at Target or anywhere else. Her nails were recently done in neutral tones and squared-off tips.
The first cock of the day poked through the hole in the wall. Giggling, Micah tentatively reached out and stroked the hard erection. A moment later, she began sucking on it as if it belonged to her long lost lover. Zooming in closer, the camera captured each moment of the oral delights she offered the stranger behind the wall in explicit detail. Suzanne squirmed witnessing the raw, carnal sexuality of the act.
The pretty woman with the hook nose and simple make-up sucked on that cock until the man erupted inside her mouth and a counter appeared in the corner of the screen, Cumshot 1. As soon as she finished, a second cock had appeared in the opposite hole, throbbing and eager for her warm, wet mouth. Micah pounced on it.
* * *
When she swirled the amber liquid inside the short glass the ice clicked softly against the sides. Her dad would consider it a sin against nature if he knew she was diluting good bourbon with melting ice. Dad always had novelty ice balls coated in plastic for his drink. When thawed, the balls felt squishy, nearly like a man’s balls. Frozen, they would cool a drink without diluting it.
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