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Liz woke up to the familiar cascade of Jay’s dark brown hair in her face. She smiled to herself and lifted her hand to gently stroke his hair away enough so she could kiss his forehead. Liz breathed in the scent of Jay, which consisted of a mix of strawberry scented soap and tea-tree-oil shampoo, the certain smell that Jay always had and Liz always loved to immerse herself in.
She buried her face in his neck and breathed deeply, remembering all of their memories from the times prior to when they parted ways, and then remembered the events which had transpired a few hours early. It was only 4 in the morning, but now Liz was wide awake.
Liz had a habit of second-guessing things, and worrying about the implications of her decisions. Now she was scared about what had just happened. A moment that had seemed so sacred, so beautiful, something she had desired since the day she and Jay fell in love…could it be as meaningless to him as she thought it might be?
With all of his other women that he’s seen in the past and that he sees now…could she really mean as much to him as he did to her? To him, it was probably just another lay, just another decent fuck…but to her, it was the deepest possible expression of their love for each other. Perhaps she was just naive, perhaps it was her age, or perhaps her cynical mindset was just a facade she put on for the world and she was truly a romantic at heart. Whatever Liz was, she was definitely scared that her night with Jay only occurred because he was horny.
Tears began to form in Liz’s eyes. She carefully manuevered her way out of Jay’s arms and went to his desk, where she proceeded to write him a letter. She placed the letter on the empty pillow beside Jay and quietly left his apartment, heading back to Steph’s apartment down the hall. Liz didn’t know how to feel anymore, but she was scared, and felt vulnerable again, just like she had when she first fell in love with Jay, and she couldn’t allow herself to fall into the trap of being vulnerable to him again.
When Liz entered Steph’s apartment, she found Steph sitting on the couch in front of the tv drinking a beer. Steph offered Liz a beer, and then asked her, “How was your night, babe? Did you score?” Liz laughed, and then her eyes began to brim with tears again.
Steph noticed that Liz seemed upset and pulled her onto the couch as Liz cried. Liz explained the whole situation to Steph. “Steph…what if I’ve made a mistake again? I mean…the only thing he seems to care about other than himself is sex. What if he really doesn’t care for me, and he was just horny and looking for a quick lay? I don’t want to get hurt by him again…”
Steph let Liz cry herself to sleep on her shoulder, and cursed Jay for reducing Liz to tears once again, however inadvertantly it may have been.
**back at Jay’s place**
Jay rolled over in his bed, having what he considered to be the most wonderful dream about Liz. He smiled when he realized that it hadn’t been a dream–he really DID just spend the night with the one girl who really truly understood him, the one girl who made him feel different than all the others.
He knew she was special, and was even somewhat angry at himself for how he had treated her over the past year or so…Things had been so wonderful and all he ever wanted, so of course, he had to screw it up and push her away when he really had wanted to be with her. He had just been too scared of his feelings to allow himself to be around her, afraid to let his desires overcome rational judgement, and afraid to hurt her again.
He reached out to pull Liz closer, and grabbed a handful of air. Slowly he woke up, realizing that Liz was not there. A puzzled and then sad look came over Jay’s face. He felt a piece of paper on the sheet under his hands, and he picked it up, stumbled over to turn the light at his desk on, and sat down to read it:
Last night was…everything I had ever wanted it to be and more. It was beautiful. I love the thought of you being back in my life, because I’ve missed having you around. But I can’t help but wonder what your motivations for last night were…I mean, you abandoned me for almost a year, we run into each other, and the next thing you know, suddenly you care enough about me to have sex with me.
I know that to you, sex is just sex. It doesn’t really seem to mean much to you, probably because I’m only one on a list of ten other girls you’ve been with in the past few years. But to me…last night was about my feelings for you, not just the feelings between my legs.
I still love you…but unfortunately, how can I believe that you suddenly love me again and that that’s why last night happened the way it did? bakırköy escort I can’t help but feel that last night only happened because you were horny and wanted a quick fuck…Jay…I love you…and I’ve opened my heart to you before…and for awhile it was wonderful, but then you abandoned me.
I just don’t think I can take that chance again. I don’t want to be hurt by you again, Jay. I’m sorry. I just can’t do this. Because I’ll always want you, and you’ll always want five or six girls at a time…and it just wouldn’t be fair to either of us. Last night meant a lot to me, but maybe it was a mistake. I think we should just leave each other to our own separate lives…
I’m not comfortable with the thought of us just being fuck buddies. Not when I have so many feelings attached to you. So I think it’s best if I leave your life, Jay. At least for now. Eventually we can be friends again, but I can’t right now, it hurts me too much. I’m sorry, babe. I hope you have a good life and that you’re happy, because you deserve all the best.
Jay looked at the letter in his hands, and then at the slight imprint that still remained in his bed from where Liz had slept. His hands trembled and his eyes actually welled up with tears a bit. ‘How…how could I have managed to push her away AGAIN?’ Jay asked himself. Jay bent over in the chair, leaning his elbows on his knees and running his hands through his hair and over his face several times, in thought.
‘Sure…I love sex…but last night wasn’t JUST about sex. I do really still love her. In a way differently than I love anyone else. She’s…special. There’s just something about her. Not that it matters now, I ruined it. I thought she wanted last night…’
Jay plopped himself back down on his bed to think. He needed to fix this. He felt like the one girl he might truly be meant to spend his life with might slip out of his reach. Not that he was ready for a commitment of that size yet, but the fact that the thought of her even made him contemplate it was astonishing. He REALLY needed to fix this.
**back at Steph’s**
Steph decided to let Liz sleep in, and then at around 10 AM she finally woke Liz up to go spend a day roaming around the city. Steph knew that Liz loved to shop, so Steph took Liz to the H+M to go clothes shopping. They spent hours in the store, trying on clothes and acting goofy together in the way that only the two of them ever managed to. Finally they both settled on purchases and went out to lunch. While Liz obviously hadn’t forgotten about what was on her mind, she was certainly distracted from thinking about it constantly.
When they finally returned back to Steph’s apartment in the bitter, late-night December cold, there was a note on the door for Steph. While Liz was changing into some comfortable pajamas, Steph read the note, which was from Jay. Steph then went to Liz’s room. “Liz, babe, I’ll be right back, I need to go take care of something. Help yourself to some tea.”
Steph then ran down to Jay’s apartment and knocked on the door. Jay opened the door and extended his body toward Steph in a hug, but Steph just stood in her place and glared at him. Jay sighed and invited Steph in so they could talk.
“Steph…Is Liz with you?” Jay asked. Steph glared at him a while longer and then nodded.
“Steph…I really need to talk to her…can I have just a few minutes alone with her? Please?” he begged.
Steph began to protest when Jay looked her in the eyes and said “I love Liz. I love her. I need time to make her believe that. Please…”
Steph saw the sincerity in Jay’s eyes and couldn’t refuse. Steph decided to go get some dinner to give the two time alone–she didn’t want to be anywhere near the vicinity if shit hit the fan.
Jay grabbed a few things from his desk and then walked over to Steph’s apartment only to find the door unlocked. Jay walked in and peered around the apartment for any signs of Liz. He finally noticed the open window and realized that Liz must have been out on the fire escape thinking-he remembered that Liz loved the cold, snowy weather of late December as well as the decorations in the city during the “just-after-Christmas” season…and she loved to do her deepest thinking outside in the fresh air.
He quietly walked over toward the window and saw that she was sitting on the fire escape, curled up in a ball and crying. It broke Jay’s heart to watch Liz cry, especially when he knew it was his fault. Moreso, it almost disturbed him that she was still so beautiful when she cried.
“Liz” he called out softly, placing a hand on her shoulder. She gasped in startled frustration and beşiktaş escort then turned away when she saw it was Jay. “Jay…please…just go…” she pleaded.
“Liz, I need you to hear me out.” Jay replied. Then he handed her two red roses. She looked at him puzzled, for Jay had never exactly been the romantic type.
“There’s two roses for each of the years that I’ve loved and admired you. That I’ve wanted to worship the ground you walk on. Because while I may care for other people…I love you differently than I’ve ever loved anyone else. You’re special. We’re special together. I know I sometimes lose sight of that and get caught up in my stupidity…but…I…I truly consider myself lucky to have you in my life.
“Lucky that you haven’t given up on me a thousand times in the past. And this is something I’ve never said to anyone before because I’ve never realized it before, and no one else has ever made me realize it until now, with you…I’ve been such an asshole. I always maintained that my lifestyle didn’t have an effect on anyone other than myself…but I realized today how very wrong that was. I can’t change from being polyamorous overnight…but…I want to work on not being an asshole.
Honestly, Liz…I can’t help but feel that when I do decide I want to be with just one person…that that person should be you…”
Liz sat there speechless, watching the snow fall. “How do I know you mean any of this?” she asked him after a long silence.
Jay ran his fingers down her cheek and turned her to face him and then looked deeply into her eyes. “You’ve always said you could read a person by what their eyes conveyed, Liz…tell me…what do mine show?” he asked her.
She gazed into his eyes, studying them. “They…honesty. Compassion. Caring. I’ve never seen you look at me quite this way before…” she said, astonished.
“I love you. I wanna change to be a better person, and that’s because of you. I wanna be with you, Liz. You mean something different to me than other people. I want you to know that. That I love you. That you’re beautiful. That you’re special to me. You’re not just some other girl…and you’re certainly not just some other fuck.
Last night was amazing for me…but I can’t imagine that last night was all that great for you if you believed that I was only trying to get in your pants. So when you’re ready…if you even still want me…I wanna make love to you and have you know that I truly do love you. I want you to feel everything that I’ve felt for so long…”
Liz smiled and finally decided to let all of her inhibitions go. For once, she knew she was making the smart decision in terms of their relationship-he truly did seem to love her. And he wanted to change himself to be what she wanted him to be, if that was what she wanted. He was sincere for what seemed like the first time in his life.
Liz sprung forward and knocked Jay onto the floor, sprawling her body out over him as she gave him a long, deep kiss. “Promise me you won’t hurt me again, Jay.” she said, gazing into his deep brown eyes.
He reached up to let his fingers graze her cheekbones and down to her lips. “I love you. Nothing will ever change that. Ever. I’m going to do everything in my power to make you happy and to not hurt you again. I can’t be perfect.” Jay replied.
Liz smiled and gave him another quick kiss. “You don’t need to be perfect…I love you anyway. Now get over here and kiss me.” she said as she ran to Jay’s room and shut the door.
Jay couldn’t believe that Liz had just locked him out of his own apartment. He knocked on the door several times, but Liz didn’t answer. Suddenly the door creaked open, and Jay saw that the apartment was dark.
He noticed that Liz’s shirt was on the floor in front of the door and grinned devilishly as to what Liz might have planned. As he walked around his apartment searching for Liz he found her shoes in the hallway, and her pants in front of the bedroom door. He opened the bedroom door to find the room completely dark. He could, however, hear Liz’s breathing.
He stumbled over toward the bed and felt around for Liz, gasping when he felt a lot of bare skin. He reached for the light and was pleasantly surprised when he turned the light on.
Liz was lying in Jay’s bed, sprawled out across it in black lace bra and panties, slowly rubbing her hands over the lace of the underwear and writhing around slightly. Jay licked his lips. “What on earth are you doing?” Jay asked, as if he didn’t know.
“Well…remember when I used to make you dream about me in black lace masturbating in front of you because you claimed it always made you beylikdüzü escort really really horny?” Liz asked. Jay nodded and felt a lump form in his throat. “Well…here I am in black lace…and I’m giving you the chance to watch me masturbate…I figure, I’ve gotten you off this way so many times in just your imagination, you might as well get to see it at least once in person…besides…I wanna see what kind of effect I can have on you…” Liz teased.
Jay moaned slightly and then laughed. He peeled off his shirt and pants, leaving him in just his boxers, and then sat down in a chair opposite where Liz was on his bed.
Liz extended her hand to Jay, offering her fingers to lick and suck on. “Get them wet, baby.” she purred. Jay smiled and sucked on each of her fingers until they were practically dripping. Liz slid a finger or two down under the lacy cups of her bra and began to circle them around her nipples, making them hard. “ooooh.” she purred.
Jay was entranced and felt his hands moving to his own nipples as he felt his cock harden in his boxers. Liz began to tug on her nipples as they got a little harder, then started flicking them rapidly, letting her hips gyrate wildly in Jay’s direction. It took every ounce of self-restraint he had to not jump on the bed and start fucking her that instant.
Liz began to moan a little more as she let one of her hands slide down toward her underwear. Slowly she slid her hand down under the waistband and through the lace, Jay could see that her hand rested on her clit. She slowly stroked it as Jay began tugging on his nipples a bit.
Jay joined Liz on the bed, sprawling himself out next to her so he could be close to her as they both got themselves off, just like they had in their dreams in the past. Liz began to apply more pressure to her clit, dipping her head back and moaning.
Jay leaned over and started sucking on the sensitive patch of skin right below her ear as she played with herself, moaning and whispering dirty things in her ear. Liz pushed her body toward Jay’s and he rubbed his crotch–with his hand now down his boxers stroking himself–against her crotch so that their hands were touching beneath their underwear.
Liz slipped a finger in herself and moaned loudly, and Jay climbed on top of Liz, beginning to grind his crotch against hers. Liz let her other hand play with her nipples, and Jay started to pant as he pumped his cock more vigorously with his hand. He started pounding himself against Liz’s crotch and they both screamed into each other as they came.
After a few moments, Liz pushed Jay off of her and pinned him down under her, ripping his boxers off and immediately devouring his again-hardening cock. Jay groaned. She raked her fingertips over his nipples as she sucked and licked on the head of his delicious organ. Then, she had an idea.
Jay loved breasts, and had taken a liking to hers, so she pulled her bra off and placed her breasts around Jay’s cock and began to jerk him off between her breasts. Jay was practically screaming as she pumped his cock and licked the head each time it poked through her cleavage. Eventually he came and Liz swallowed it all.
She then moved up to let Jay taste himself. “Fuck me, Jay. Fuck me hard.” she moaned in his ear.
Liz then climbed on top of Jay’s cock and began to ride him. Jay loved having Liz on top of him, taking control. It was so erotic, and he was loving this even-hornier side of Liz.
She bucked her hips against him while playing with her breasts. He pulled her over enough so that he could suck on her breasts as they fucked. Jay bit down on one of Liz’s nipples and she cried out loudly in response. Liz let her hand wander down and rub her clit wildly as they fucked, growing closer and closer to orgasm. “I’m almost there.” she panted at Jay.
Jay flipped them over so that he was behind Liz and Liz was on her stomach on the bed, he slipped his hands under her breasts, and began to pound her from behind. “Jay………. UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.” she screamed as she came. She kept grinding her crotch against his cock, making Jay come one last time.
He pulled out of her, and then when she least expected it, Jay dove straight for her pussy, licking and sucking with all his might. Liz was practically trembling as she moaned. She grabbed at her breasts frantically and pushed his face into her pussy as he sucked on her throbbing clit. “more….more…god baby suck it….harder…”
He sucked on her clit like a nursing baby. He dipped his tongue into her and fucked her with his mouth. With one final nibble of her clit and a tug on her nipples, Liz came loudly, and her final orgasm was enough to make Jay come again.
Both flushed, they stared at each other for a moment while they regained their breath, and then started thinking of more places to fuck wildly because they had 2 years of “horny” for each other stored up, and still had a whole apartment to explore…
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