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Subject: DOCTOR WHO, JESSE AND JEREMY 182 DONATE TO NIFTY for a shot from your flesh gun! https://donate./donate.html DOCTOR WHO, JESSE AND JEREMY 182 BALLAD: So fill up your glasses, And join in the song. The law’s right behind you, And it won’t take long. So come, you coyotes And howl at the moon, Till there’s blood upon the sawdust, In The Last Chance Saloon. THE WESTERN STORY part one TWO FOR THE TRAIL “We’ll be back in time for your departure, Father DeSmet.” “Please see that you do. I mean it’s great that you intend to do the Lord’s work and leave supplies in one of them there shacks like the ones we passed for other travelers.” Brian smiled. “Well, the Lord giveth to us and me and my partner here intend on giving back to others…the kindness shown by white men to white men.” DeSmet furrowed his brow, unsure of Brian. “Well, okay… but we haven’t the time to wait. We won’t be awasting any time waitin for you even though you both served us well on our trip.” “Not to worry, Father, we shan’t be long…” Brian smiled and nodded to Coogan. Brian McHugh and Coogan Elder were dressed like cowboys. Brian was a good looking British man and even better looking was the dark haired Coogan Elder. If anyone from the 20th or 21st century had seen these two, they would have thought they looked like movie stars. Brian looked like Cillian Murphy. Coogan looked like the younger actor, Jared Leto, in his filled out muscular FIGHT CLUB stage. They picked up and carried a large crate that was wooden but it was painted blue. They put it down on the sand. “We’re lucky none of those wagon train ridin’ fools thought to look into this here crate…” Coogan said once they reached the spot. “This here cactus is the agreed upon spot,” Coogan said. “The gun runners…” “I told you…don’t use that term!” He looked around “We’re far enough away from the fort. No one can see us let alone hear us. So we’s is going to Oregon, then?” “Yes, they’ll be sending one of their men to pay us or maybe one of them there Pony Boys…” BALLAD: On your way then you cowboys, The time will be soon, When there’s blood upon the sawdust In the Last Chance Saloon. Five other men: Pedro Gonzale (Adam Rodrigeuz), Black Bar (Lucas Black), Ferdie Flinch (Ben Elliott), plain ole cowboy Wayne, Seb Futterman (Ben Feldman)�his mother named him Seb-baby—were in a covered wagon. Ferdie and Seb were on the front, driving horses. In the back of the bed, Bar was playing with himself, sticking his hands down his pants while Pedro smoked a thick cigar, watching him with a grim smile. “We is getting back to California after we pick up the crate from the British one and the pretty one? No?” “Yes,” Seb called from the front “… and then we will sell these guns to the Injuns.” Seb had a wide open face which also sported above that a huge forehead not lost among his very curly wild but clean hair. In fact everything about him was clean, sparkling, shiny. Ferdie had a pretty boy face, jet black hair over his forehead and a black vest on with no shirt underneath. This left his abs for all the world to see and for which he was most proud. At 6’1 he was proud of his biceps, triceps, abs, chest, even if he was more on the lean side. In present day, he’d be a model with his long legs, now adorned in black leather. Ferdie asked, “Where’s that cac…oh there it is.” He spotted it and saw a crate standing upright. “Mightly big that is, isn’t it? Can we haul that into here?” “I’m sure with your great big muscles, you can,” Seb smiled. He wore a brown leather cotton shirt and wool pants, the shirt a fraction too small so that his own belly button was exposed, daring someone to shoot him in it. “Don’t be such a wiseguy,” Ferdie sneered. He drew a gun and put it to Seb’s side. “You obnoxious, trouble making heb!” Seb looked at him sideways without moving his head. “You don’t want to be buried in that crate, do you?” Ferdie swallowed and lowered his gun. “You stop being so …” Seb turned to look at him and Ferdie shut up. “My mother nicknamed me baby, did you know that?” “Yes,” Ferdie whispered, in annoyance that he’d been told often enough by Seb this startling info. “Seb Baby. She always told me a Jewish boy can’t really be a cowboy but that if he did, he’s be the baby of the litter. I’m here to prove her wrong.” “So,” Pedro leaned back in the wagon against a sack of potatoes. “So…you our leader then, are you?” His voice had an annoying habit of rising and falling, especially when he was making a point and trying to be non-chalant about it, even more so when he was smoking pot, which he now was. Ferdie snorted. “Seeb Heeb…” “Someone’s got to be,” Seb said, without smiling. “Call me heb again and I’ll put a bullet in ya so fast it’ll make the air get left behind and then there’ll be a whoosh…” He put a hand on Ferdie’s face and turned it to his as he turned his face to him, almost mouth on mouth, “… catch up by the air you won’t be using.” Ferdie pulled away. “I’m sorry!” “Don’t do it. Again.” “You know I’m not prejudice …” “Sure…sure…” Black Bar was feeding meat to a mongrel dog, a big black colored dog in the corner. “Pity me ole China. I thought we was going to have ourselves a good killing I could jerk meself off ta.” “Coward,” Seb muttered under her breath. This seemed to draw something out of Ferdie and he drew his guns and shoved them at Seb’s bare lower belly. “Don’t call me coward!” Seb had his gun right in Ferdie’s navel. “Oh, right, I forgot. Something to do with yer dad callin’ ya that?” He sneered. “You know how it sets me off!” Ferdie gasped. “Don’t!” Wayne poked two Stetsons between them, each with a point aimed at their under chins, the underbelly soft of their jaw. “Who put these two together up here?” Pedro puffed on a cigar and blew smoke out, almost at the same time. “You did. With a big assist from me.” “Calm down or…” Wayne hardly ever spoke but when he did, the others listened. He was, sort of, their unbashed leader. This stopped the other two cold and the redness in their faces faded quickly. “There now, that’s good …men.” Wayne withdrew. The two mumbled under their breaths. TARDIS spinning in time and space…side around side… He was singing in French. Something about Esmeraldas or something. The Doctor roamed the TARDIS hallway and went past the room where Leelo stayed. Jeremy was behind him. Jeremy wore a short cropped brown pseudo leather cowboy vest with no shirt underneath and low hanging blue jeans and black cowboy boots. He also sported a brown cowboy hat. On the bottom of the vest were fringes with tassels. They swayed as he almost bumped into the Doctor who stopped abruptly at the door to Leelo’s room. The Doctor opened the door and looked in. “Leelo stayed here.” “For a time,” Jeremy said behind the Doctor, who stared into the room. “Do you miss him?” “Well, yes. I miss an awful lot of people, you know.” Jeremy turned him from the room to face him and took the Doctor into his arms. “You know, others may come and go, even though…and I know that Leelo wanted to stay longer but he was here longer than even you thought he should stay and he almost died several times over the years he was with us. He was on a grand adventure with us. And he sort of grew up…but now he’s with Fesh and Benjamie and the Nanny. He’ll be all right.” “Oh, I…I know. It’s just…” “Just what?” “Nothing.” “Doc…tore…” “He used to call me that. That and Medicine Man.” Jeremy laughed. “I know.” “I wish you and Jesse didn’t know that. I don’t want you calling me that.” “He wants to sleep in today.” “Jesse? That’s not like him!” “I know but for once, he needs to recuperate from our last adventure so…I already did but I’ll be with you. And even though Jesse’s just resting up for a day in, a kind of mental health day from time and space…he and I are with you always. You won’t ever have to miss us…” The Doctor leaned his head on Jeremy’s ample chest. Jeremy said as he tucked his chin on the Doctor’s head. “..that is of course if your ailing TARDIS doesn’t strand us in another era for two to three years…” The Doctor raised his head to look at Jeremy. Jeremy joked on. “…or dump us into a river somewhere OR throw us onto another planet where we don’t know a soul ourselves, are savaged by giant pig monsters, Time Lord gods, raped…by ancient Gallefrean savages…” “You weren’t raped by them…I mean…almost?” He was sorry the moment he said it. “Jeremy…” “Look, I told Jesse and I’m telling you. I’m over it. It was traumatic sure, but can I handle it? I did. I’m not infected with anything…like HIV or anything from it. It was a star…it didn’t have any diseases. If it wasn’t forced it might have even have been…” “What? Enjoyable?” Jeremy shrugged. “Maybe. I mean it hurt but there’s a fine line between pleasure and pain anyway, isn’t there.” “You sound like you already know that.” “Sure do. So where to now? You said it was the West?” Jeremy turned and marched toward the console room. The Doctor looked into the room. “The past…” He turned toward the console room and Jeremy’s cowboy hat which, on top of his head, was sticking out the door to the console room which Jeremy strategically placed his head in, almost like THE THREE STOOGES used to do. He was doing this for effect to look cute. He did look cute. The Doctor pinched both his cheeks and he removed his head but the cowboy hat remained stuck in the door. Jeremy grabbed it away as the Doctor strode under it and past him to the console itself. The Time Rotor was going up and down. Jeremy put his cowboy hat on top it. He whisked after the Doctor, light on his feet. “So when do we arrive at this Western themed West Hollywood Gay bar?” “Flaming Saddles?” The Doctor looked bright eyed and rosy cheeked all of a sudden as his spirits picked up…for a moment. Then he looked at the console and the Time Rotor slowed its up and down movement, a cowboy hat on top of the rotor. “That Time Rotor,” Jeremy touched his crotch through his jeans. “Always gets me so hot when it does that.” He noticed the Doctor’s look. “2015, January 28th is where we’re requested to be…” The Doctor turned some dials and the TARDIS appeared. Slowly. “Anything wrong?” Jeremy asked. He fully expected something to go wrong and it was reflected in his voice. “No. I just have reservations. I have reservations about lots of things I do and allow.” “Not that old argument again!” Jeremy smacked the back of the Doctor, grabbed his hat and swung it at the Doctor’s head, messing up his perfect model’s hair. “Okay, okay. Cor, blimey. I accept that you and Jesse accept the danger of being with me and if you die, you die.” “I wouldn’t quite put it like that. Especially not when we told our parents the definiteness of it all…but yes.” Jeremy proclaimed all of that with confidence but not as much as really wanted to project so he strode his chest up and issued more confidence with, “Yeah!” The Doctor felt himself spun around by Jeremy who sort of danced him to him. They were body to body. The Doctor’s body felt all of Jeremy’s ripples and curves. Jeremy kissed him, ploughing his mouth, teasing it first. The Doctor cleared his throat. “Uhm, yeah. By the way, you look especially ragingly hot …hawwwwt, tonight, you know that?” “Yeah, I do.” Jeremy felt the Doctor go down…kiss his both his nipples and continue, licking a trail, that never failed to shiver him. The Doctor licked inside his navel and lipped the upper thick ridge, ploughed the outtie flesh with his dabbing tongue, and fake bit the lower ridge before descending to the pants, which were open at the button. “Yeah you do…” The Doctor felt the dick rising out of the pants top. He dabbed with his tongue. Struck more with his tongue. Wet it down more. It wet itself with glistening coating. Jeremy put his hands on the Doctor’s head and bobbed along with him as he sucked him off. “Uhhhh…” Old West version of theme song. https://www.youtube/watch?v=FqeMH9SEYtA “I love it when you talk dirty!” Jeremy released the penis from his mouth. “While pressing forth my tongue first into your navel and then with the lightest touch of the tip. Then swirl it. THEN push it in deep and jerk it in there while I jerk your thick pulsating member!” As he talked this through, the Doctor turned Jeremy to the wall of the TARDIS, pushing him toward the TARDIS wall bed which was down at the moment, Leelo had wanted to sleep there for his last night. The Doctor can’t remember the last time he used it before that, probably in his Third Incarnation when he was ailing and Jo helped nurse him back to health…and NO! not that way. She had to go out and…it was all a long time ago. He loved Jo but thinkin about her now was making his penis deflate for he was GAY! “Oh my Rassalon!” The Doctor gasped, “You you get me hard with no hands!” Jeremy leaned back onto the side of the bed as the Doctor lifted his back a bit to arch him. “Keep talkin, babe!” “I’d lift you under your back and jerk you up onto the my waiting tongue!” “I’m yours, Medicine Man!” “Don’t…” The Doctor was mad …for a moment. “Actually, that’s rather sexy…” “I’ll caress my hand over your bare, sweating back after tossing your hot leather cowboy vest…” “Imitation leather because I don’t believe in…” “Shut the fuck up!” The Doctor snapped with such ferocity he scared Jeremy, who went wide eyed and then gave a wry smile. “… while with my other hand I grip the back of your balls and massage them with the middle finger, deepening them, hurting them, comforting them as I jerk my lips in so deep and edge from one side of your navel to the other and then up the ridge and down the ridge at first slowly and then jerkingly fast and then slowly again and while inching it out at first and surprising you when I jab it back in slowly and then out slowly and then in fast up to the point that I can barely breathe out my fucking Time Lord nose!” “The nose is a definite improvement!” “Only when smelling your flesh up it!” “You’re so hot!” “Yes, you are, too, honey!” “Lemme make it clear—I’m part of your navel and through your belly button back wall I get the thrills down my tongue and you get it through your whole bod, stomach to back from there so your penis point cums out pressed against my own upper cock base and your bare lower back in one hand as I use my extra human strength to hold you up slightly from the side of the bed, you half standing, half leaning against it, arching, moaning…” “Fuck yah!” “Shoot that manly chunks of joy juice!” “Empty your fucking masculine nuts!” “Shoot me all over with your dripping load after load of splashing far reaching man cream!” “Kiss my lips as they are caked with your love liquid!” “Your cock is so extreme and large I can hardly grab it with my whole hand so I spread my fingers wide and massage with each finger and grip and loosen and grip again! Jerkin you and then sucking it as I deepen and twist my tongue in new angles, UP the ridge to sites unseen under your navel upper ness and then the opposite way down the navel ridge toward your base of your penis! The base thick and hard, too! Love it! Jerk that McKirk!” “Just seeing you makes me pre cum. No hands! I can cum without touching from you! In fact, did just that this morning when we were in the hall! I fucking love the sight of you!” “Fuck your belly button! I’d stick my dick in next and savage your navel!” “THEN as we are pressed gaaahhhh…together, our bellies touch harshly and yet when I cum blast, I blast the cum between our navels and up to our pecs, the wetness reaching up to our nips and further to our chins, our lips where we kiss the cum into each other’s mouths!” “How do you feel honey?” The hot summer air rode across the desert with only the blue crate visible…until slowly, ever so slowly, the blue form started to appear out of thin air, light first, blue doors second, the sides, the panels. The TARDIS arrived and groaned and the sounds it made doing so were not the usual sounds. The guns crate was behind it or rather the TARDIS appeared in front of it. A strange blue ray from the top of the TARDIS light hit down on the crate and the crate became completely invisible. Jeremy and Doctor leave TARDIS. “Welcome to ye gay California! Venezia!” The Doctor opened his arms and the doors to the TARDIS were open. He wore a cowboy outfit and hat to boot. Jeremy looked around, closing the TARDIS doors and as he was about to say something odd to the Doctor, he paused as he heard a strange sound echo as he closed the doors. “It never did that before.” “What?” “It just made a strange…” Jeremy turned around and put his elbow on the Doctor’s shoulder. He patted his own bare stomach. “Uh, is this supposed to be West Hollywood?” “Uh…the uh…” “Oh here we go. How far west? I mean how far back?” “Well, something must be, ahhh…” The Doctor tried to open the doors but they wouldn’t open even after he put the key in and tried several times. “Doctor, what’s happening?” He put the key into his pocket, “Try your’s.” While Jeremy tried his and the TARDIS throbbed its blue aura from its entire body, Jeremy stared at it and backed away. “It’s no good. Not working. Are we? Is Jesse…?” The Doctor gasped “Don’t panic! Don’t panic!” He looked at the non-pulsed Jeremy. “You’re not panicking.” He took out from his pocket a small hand held device and looked at it, pressing a button. “Oh, nothing at all to worry about.” “So, we can get back in?” “Not for at least three weeks,” the Doctor said and shut his eyes hoping to hide from Jeremy. “THREE WEEKS!?” The Doctor shrank back. “…or more.” “OR MORE!!!??” “It’s not so bad. We can find foo…” “Food!? Why can’t Jesse just open the doors for us?” “Because …somehow, maybe passing through that other multi verse DID have an effect on the TARDIS. Jesse can’t open it for us because for him it is still morning.” “I don’t…what do you…morning? It’s morning for us…” “I don’t know how but somehow the interior of the TARDIS and the exterior are in a different speed of time.” “What da fuck does that mean?” “I…well, while we’re foraging for food out here for two weeks or more…” “Two, now, is it?” “Five weeks or more…” “FIVE!” “Well, I can’t be sure, Jer…” “OH MY GOD. My mother was right.” “You see (wad I mean)…your mother?” “Yeah,” Jeremy said, angry. He looked at the TARDIS doors and put his hand on them. “It feels warmer than usual. OW. Almost hot!” “It’ll correct itself.” “Correct what?” TARDIS: 8:12 am? The sunlight came in from the window. Jesse turned from his side to his back. “You are so comfortable. So warm. You really know how to take care of me. I love you!” He stretched his arms out sideways and then to the sunlight rays. He knew the TARDIS has pseudo windows and the sunlight was just reflecting what it would be if there were a real window in his room in that area of the TARDIS but he didn’t care. The temperature, the cleanliness, and the overall pampering the TARDIS gave him continually was appreciated. After the events of the past few days, he needed pampering and rest and he had it in droves. He put his hands under the covers and gave his slight hard on a bit of a massage. He shut his eyes and grunted and put his hands out from under the covers again. “Thanks, ole boy. Love ya.” The other pseudo window caught the rays shining in from the one on the adjacent wall and they hovered over his dick area. It all warmed him no end. He knew the Doctor and Jeremy had ventured out to some Old West Hollywood gay bar opening in some close to the future year…did they say 1995…did they have gay bars back then? Or was it 2015? He didn’t care. Normally, he’d be all over that shit and in fact, more than either Jeremy or the Doctor but…he needed the calm and a normal day. It happens once in a while. After facing saving the universe or even one life and staring down muzzles of Dalek swivel guns or plungers on his belly, Cybermen’s cold stares, or the terribly ancient guns of Lewis and Clark’s men, the branches of the Kryn…you get the idea, he told himself. “Hmmm. I’m talking bursa yabancı escort to myself. I’m getting more and more like the ole Doc every God darned day.” Normally, too, he’d curse but he didn’t like taking the Lord’s name in vain so …no. He yawned and stretched some more and decided to stay in bed a bit longer. Maybe a half hour… Outside: “While Jesse has a 24 hour day shut up inside on his stay cation…time will pass slower for him but faster for us out here but as we’re a part of it…” “So…his 24 hours in there will be our something like 40 days out here?” “Yes, that’s it, you hit it on the…ahhh…” He looked down at Jeremy’s crotch. “…head…” Jeremy banged on the doors. “Jesse’s trapped inside the TARDIS on a slower time loop!?” The Doctor clapped his hands together and held them after two beats. “Now you’ve got the situation well in hand.” “I’m gonna make my hands…I’mma gonna take me hands and…” “Come on, let’s see if we can find a…well, some food or where we are and if we’re very lucky a…” Jeremy put his arms out as they moved past some cactus and a hill. “WOW! It’s a great BIG VALLEY!” “Yeah, don’t do that.” “What?” “Start saying your favorite western TV show titles just because we’re in the Old West…” “Ohhhhhh…” As they moved on past the valley, the Doctor turned to look up at the sky. He put a hand to his brow. “Let’s get back. I don’t think we’re going to find …” “A WAGON TRAIN!” “Jeremy,” the Doctor didn’t look at him but kept looking at the sky. “I asked you not to do that.” Jeremy tapped his shoulder and turned him around. “No, look. I mean it…it’s a wagon train…a real life wagon train.” “They look like they’ve stopped. And there’s a fort there, too!” “C’mon, let’s go see if they can give us some foooo…” “Not yet. I want to check on the TARDIS…” “Walk all the way back?” “Yeah, I might be wrong. It might have corrected itself by now.” “Oh boy,” Jeremy said. “I’m hot, tired and hungry but…” he looked at the Doctor’s pleading face. “I just want to avoid all the awkward questions again, if we can…” Jeremy smiled and put a hand to the Doctor’s chin. “T’okay. The things I do for history.” “And history thanks you, it does,” The Doctor joked and took his hand. Later when they arrived at the area, Jeremy looked at the Doctor. “Doctor…the…the TARDIS was right there…” “I know. It’s gone.” Pedro, Bar, Ferdie, Wayne, and Seb had seen a wooden crate and loaded it into their wagon. It looked like a wooden crate and not the TARDIS. Ferdie gasped as he hit the reigns for the horses. “Callie forn I Aye, here we’s come!” The others laughed. Pedro banged on the crate in the back of the wagon and inside the TARDIS, Jesse, on the toilet, looked up. “What was that?” “Residual arton energy.” “Is it dangerous?” “Negative, Master.” Jesse looked at K9. “K9, are you sure?” “Affirmative.” Jeremy whirled around. “What the hell do we do now?” “That wagon train. Let’s get back there before they’re on the move again. Maybe they’ve stopped at that fort…” As they walked toward the wagon train and fort, Brian and Coogan came to the back of the wagon train and tightened some baggage inside the back wagon, helping a woman and her young son. “That oughta do it,” Brain said, more concerned with what he saw walking their way. “Thank you kindly, sirs.” “No problem, mam.” Coogan pulled Brian aside. He looked sweaty and nervous. “Who the hell are those two?” Brian smiled. “A kink in our plans?” “They’ve come from where we left the crate…” “Don’t mention a crate. We don’t want anyone to know about it. Use the cactus…” “I’d like to use the cactus on you.” “Ohhh,” Brian raised his eyebrows, “…kinky.” Coogan ignored him. “From where we left the cactus…” “If they were there before the five…they may have seen it or worse…” Coogan gasped. He put a hand on each of his guns. “Don’t jump the gun so to speak,” Brian said, calmly. “Let’s find out.” He strode forward to meet the Doctor and Jeremy before anyone else could. “Howdy! Welcome, strangers.” “Oh,” the Doctor turned to Jeremy. “We’re not the Stranger and his busty friend…” “Cor, your friend sure had a mighty fine bust if I do say so meself,” Brian smiled and winked at Jeremy, who blushed. “This old west sure is gay.” Jeremy commented and fake-laughed, the Doctor looking at him sideways in a negative response to that comment and laugh. “It sure is!” Coogan came forward to them, patted the Doctor on the back and although the Doctor didn’t go flying, he was certainly moved by the power of it and made a face accordingly, and then Coogan shook Jeremy’s hand fast and hard. “What I mean is our transport…it was totally wrecked in a crash we had. We were lucky to have jumped off when we did… isn’t that right, Jeremy?” The Doctor turned to see Jeremy, who freed his hand and began eyeing up Coogan’s crotch and Coogan smiling at Jeremy, though fingering the smoothness of his guns. Jeremy was absent minded. He caught some of what the Doctor said. “Whaa? Oh, lucky, yeah. We …I could jump on things real well. I mean we were lucky to have jumped when we did.” “You two…?” Brian started to ask, pointing his right index finger at one and then the other. “Traveling companions, that’s all,” The Doctor lied. It made Jeremy uncomfortable to lie about this but he knew in the past it was usually necessary. He did it himself when they were in the Lewis and Clark time zone. “Good to know,” Coogan circled around Jeremy and looked at his butt. Jeremy turned with him. “I can’t help but noticed that you two don’t carry no six shooters.” “I used to carry a RIFLE, MAN,” Jeremy elbowed him and the Doctor, who winced and rolled his head and his eyes skyward. “I was known as the Rifleman but I gave it up some time ago.” “Betcha was good,” Coogan stepped between Brian and Jeremy, eyeing Brian to stop flirting. “I was, I was.” Jeremy said. “We don’t carry weapons, anymore,” the Doctor intervened. The “anymore” struck Jeremy. He wasn’t sure what that meant but he knew, no matter how long he’d know the Doctor, there’d be mysteries about him, things he didn’t know or secrets about him that he’d have to uncover or learn about…if he wanted him to. The Doctor didn’t like the way the conversation was going. “I find that nine times out of ten— people are likely to be more friendly to you if you just talk straight…” Jeremy raised an eyebrow. “Well, from the hearts. I mean if you show people you mean them no harm, nine times out of ten, they’ll leave you alone.” Jeremy laughing in a scoffing opposition to what the Doctor just said and looked upward. “Seven times out of t…five times out of…” The Doctor moved between Jeremy and Brian now. “Pardon my confusion but my friend and I have been walking for a very long time in the heat. We’re ahhh, a bit, ahh, discombobulated…can ye not answer me this question…” “Get a load of his accent, Bri…” Coogan laughed and twirled a gun for a laugh. “I have an accent, Coogan. Don’t mind him, sir…” “Doctor.” “You’re a Doctor. Of what?” “Oh. Of many things, many things. But right now…your accent? Irish?” “Yes, partly. Mostly. I mean me mum was a bit Brit.” “I knew me a Brian once. Nice fella. His daughter in law was a bit of a slut.” Brian went for a pal elbow to the Doctor’s stomach but the Doctor folded his arms purposely in order to block that and took Brian’s force there. “One for the ladies are ye!?” He laughed but frowned as his eblow found the Doctor’s arm bony but unmoving. “Nooo…No. No.” The Doctor said. “She had a husband…” Coogan put an arm around Jeremy who smiled at the gesture and then at the Doctor. “When’s that ever stop anyone of us, aye?” “Aye, aye!” Jeremy mimicked and then rolled his eyes. “Nice guy but let himself be treated like so much cow manure on the trail…” The Doctor said and the two cowboys laughed. Jeremy looked at the Doctor with a face that said HELP ME. The Doctor moved to Coogan and took his arm from around Jeremy. “What was it you were going to ask me?” Brian asked. “What’s the calendar date?” The Doctor raised his eyebrows and then threw his hands around his wrist winding up in the air for the inevitable silly comments and disbelief that he and Jeremey didn’t know the month and year, let alone the day’s numbering. To the surprise of the two time travelers, Brian just answered without the usual cat calls that they were insane. Coogan barely noticed the question either nor reacted. “August 11th, 1841.” “Summer,” Jeremy said with enthusiasm. “I love summer.” “So do I,” the Doctor said, “But I always like me the changes of seasons. Here does the weather change much?” “Only’s at night. This here Oregon Country gets mightly cold at night as ye two will soon find ye’s out. Snake River might as well get froze over…” The Doctor faked picking at a small twig he picked up ou out of the sand and then went over to Jeremy to fake straighten his cowboy hat and then winked at him, whispering, “Snake River in the eastern Oregon Country, now part of present-day Bannock County in southeastern Idaho, United States.” He then moved away but first tweaked both of Jeremy’s bare nipples under the cowboy vest. Jeremy tried not to make a face of pain and failed utterly in that. “A Wednesday, I believe. Are you allowed kisses on a Wednesday, Jeremy?” He blinked and turned to Brian. “Thanks. Thank you for allowing my friend and I to save face.” “No thanks necessary, fine gentleman. The heat in these parts get to a man. It’s easy to lose track of your days, nay even yer year…” Brian said. “Perhaps you can join one of two of our parties…?” “Two?” The Doctor perked up. “Now, that’s interesting…” “Where do you hope to go?” Brian asked. “California…you see…” The Doctor started… “We had a valuable …crate of our clothes and other belongings,” Jeremy said, “It vanished from right in front of the cactus we dropped it at after the accident…we were dazed for a bit so we didn’t see what happened…” The Doctor and Jeremy tried not to notice the two men’s faces go white. “We think someone may have taken it by mistake,” The Doctor added. Coogan spoke up. “It may have been taken by mistake. We…” He looked at Brian who made wide eyes at him. “That is…our party…we leave supplies along the trail for other travelers to help them. Your belongings may have been taken by mistake by a group we saw pass us.” Brian almost gasped. Coogan always said too much. It was one of his faults. Brian spoke up as Coogan tried to go on and shut him up just by doing the speaking up. “Well, part of our train is going that way but with such a huge burden I’m afraid with them, you’ll never catch up.” “Well, if I could take a horse…” “I’m afraid they’ll never allow that. I mean you are a stranger…” Jeremy felt a bit relieved by that. If the Doctor left, it meant he’d be alone here…with nothing but strangers. It did have an appeal but… Coogan went ahead and offered an alternative. “Instead …well, say, I have a great idea… instead of chasing your grip, they have a Horse Express in the town that the other half of us are going to…Oregon. If you get there, one of them boy riders could catch up to them easily. Just give him a message.” “I …uh, a Horse Express?” The Doctor doubted it. “Yeah but the Pony Express wasn’t start…” The Doctor put a hand over Jeremy’s mouth and from behind, playfully grabbed him and pulled him to his front. “My friend likes to play with words. Horse, pony, it’s all hamburger meat to us, aye?” “A ham…what’s a hamburger when it’s at home, sir?” Brian asked. Coogan cut in again. “Oh, maybe that’s his word for that… that …what she call it, a …a sandwich that that lady Cook called that last year. I had one. It was good!” “Well, you might as well meet the leaders of the train…we’ll take you to them…” “Oh we already know…” The Doctor cuddled Jeremy’s mouth again. “He loves this!” Jeremy pulled loose and looked something nasty as the Doctor. “…know you’ll help us. You seem like nice sorta folk.” “Thank you, looker.” Brian winked and turned to walk ahead. Coogan followed them. Brian whispered to him. “Watch these two, they may have hidden the crate when they found their things gone. We have to send a message to the five about this. Let them know the crate may be …” “Our job is done. We have our …” “Are you lame brained? We have to get our pay by messenger. Maybe one of them there Pon…Horse boys can get it for us. Do you really think they’ll pay us when they find out they have the wrong crate?” Coogan pulled a face. The Doctor walked so close to Jeremy that he kept sliding into him. He whispered. “Watch what you say. There’s a lot of things wrong here and starting with these two… and that Pony Express thing…” “Pony Express…? I know …it’s too early for that. Do you think they’re lying? Or maybe history was wrong about when it started?” Jeremy whispered. “It…it can’t be.” The Doctor was careful to talk so that only Jeremy could hear him and not the others. He watched the others while talking to Jeremy. “It can’t be that because it’s too early for that. It’s at least 19 years too early for the Pony.” “We got lots of ponies, mister.” Coogan overheard that. “Didn’t you say it was the Pony Express?” “Horse Express but we,” Brian says, “…like that name better. Maybe they’ll adopt dat.” “The fort’s this way…” Over a rise was a huge wooden fort with the name hanging on a sign FORT HALL. The land seemed to be all flat land for miles until in the distance were sand hills. Large weed like growths were all over and the wooden doors to the fort were open. There was a huge wagon train in front of it. Two soldiers were on duty inside the doors and two outside. People were passing in and out of the gates without notice. Inside, Jeremy saw fur traders, which made him shiver. He thought back that not too long ago a fur trader named Pierre Toussaint Charbonneau, in fact, the husband of Sacagawea on the Lewis and Clark expedition but in actuality, an alien from the dawn of time that gave him, the Doctor and Jesse a lot trouble by capturing the TARDIS, which forced he and Jesse to live two and a half years with the Lewis and Clark expedition. He remembered the rooted hair, the high cheekbones, the ruddy complexion, the snide sneer as he looked down on him and Jesse, the chamois outer shirt, adorned with fringe and beads, the blue and white undershirt, and dark blue felt pants. He stared at an old man inside the fort who was making a trade with a Native American. The man had the same sash around his waist, along with a blue and white checked scarf, and a pair of moccasins. Topping it all off is a red knit hat, which made Jeremy think that Toussaint should have worn his as a red dunce cap. He moved over to the gate, unaware the Doctor was closely shadowing him, right behind. Wary of the soldiers, which often gave he and his fellow time travelers grief, the young BOY NEXT DOOR type Union officer smiled brightly at him, the blue eyed ginger. He smiled back and touched the wood, peering inside. “Anything wrong?” The Doctor yelled so that the soldiers all looked angrily at him. Jeremy had jumped. He touched the wood. “This fort feels almost brand new.” The Doctor said, “That’s because it probably is.” He looked both ways before licking the wood. “Ewl. Do you have to do that? You know how I hate it. Some peeps are staring.” “Well…I thought you’d want to know for sure…” “Well?” “It is new. Well, I say new but it’s really about eight years old which brings us to…it was built…” The ginger overheard them. “I wouldn’t expect a limmie to know when it was built but sir, it was built in 1835.” “Limmie…” Jeremy fumed. “Don’t…” The Doctor put a hand on his shoulder to calm him. “He means it affectionately.” “What? How do you…?” The soldier came over to them and shook his hand. “Nice to welcome a fellow from the King’s country…” “You British?” Jeremy asked, putting his cowboy hat on further down his head. “Me family was when they came here, oh…I guess about 100 years ago… or so…” He smiled. “Thanks for that info!” The Doctor shook his hand. “Yes, thanks very much!” The boy smiled at him. Jeremy took him by the arm. “If you’re done flirting…” he smiled. “Oh, as if you weren’t…” “I thought I saw…” “What? Who?” The Doctor drew serious again. “Never mind…” Jeremy said as Brian and Coogan sauntered over to them. “The leader of the train is over here…” Brian said. Old looking but only 21, John Bidwell spoke to them. “Our party, originally sixty-nine, including women and children, had become lessened to sixty-four in number. One had accidentally shot himself at the forks of the Platte. Another of our party, named Simpson, had left us at Fort Laramie. Three had turned back from Green River, intending to make their way to Fort Bridger and await an opportunity to return home. Their names were Peyton, Rodgers, and Amos E. Frye. Thirty-two of our party, becoming discouraged, decided not to venture without path or guide into the unknown and trackless region towards California, but concluded to go with the missionary party to Fort Hall and thence find their way down Snake and Columbia rivers into Oregon. The rest of us also thirty-two in number, including Ben Kelsey, his wife and little daughter remained firm, refusing to be diverted from our original purpose of going direct to California. After getting all the information we could from Captain Fitzpatrick, we regretfully now bade good-bye to our fellow emigrants and to Father De Smet and his party of holy men.” “Holy…uh oh,” Jeremy judged. “They’ve proved be as honest as they say, however you’re misgivings.” Before Jeremy could speak up again, the Doctor interceded. “My young friend meant no harm, sir. It’s just that in his…our experience many a holy man turned out to be a…a Neeva…a charlatan, shall we say?” “Nevertheless, not these.” “Well, I would Neeva assume that.” “And as we move toward Callie, they’ll be moving west, traveling over the emerging Oregon Trail with Father De Smet and his Jesuit party guided by the renowned mountain man…the old guy over there…” “At Soda Springs…” “Ahh, present day Caribou County, Idaho…” “…about half of the original party decided to play it safe and will continue on to Oregon. That’s the Jesuit way, continue on to their original word and going with them, there is old man…” He smiled as the “old man” feeding his horses hay, turned and snapped. “Who are you calling an old man?” “Thomas Fitzpatrick he be called,” Bidwell smiled at Jeremy who smiled back. “Why, he’s going onto Oregon…” “Leading em is what I is doin! You fools headin to Callie without me is just plain foolish, is all.” Jeremy waved his hat the man who waved his hand at him and grumped. Jeremy laughed. “He’s a pleasant chap.” “He is,” Bidwell shrugged. “Don’t mind his manners cause he won’t but he’ll bring you with them. He don’t mind. He’s really quite a good sort.” “This is quite an amazing feat, Mr. Bidwell…” The Doctor started. “Oh, please call me, John…” “A 21 year old like you..ing this far and then going onto California without Mr. Broken Hand there and…” “You know my nickname, how nice.” “Yes, well…” the Doctor tilted his head and even though the old man had been at least 10 feet or more away, he heard that. “…your reputation precedes you, doesn’t it?” “And what may ye be? British?” “I suppose I must be, yes,” the Doctor grinned and put a cowboy on from his pocket. “On `is mother’s side,” Jeremy added. “Yes.” “Foreigners dang nusance if you ask me,” the old man snorted. DeSmet was there next to him. “Mr. Broken Hand, that is no way to treat our guests. Of course they are welcome…” “Another pair to feed…” “A pair of hands to help…” “We’ll pull…” Jeremy looked at them and then glanced quickly at the Doctor and added, “…our load.” The Doctor groaned. He winked at Jeremy before Jeremy turned his gaze back to the men. “Still, you’ve come a long way. Anyone…” The Doctor turned to Bidwell again and started bursa sınırsız escort to ask. “We’ve only had one death. A young man by the name of Shotwell, while in the act of taking a gun out of the wagon, drew up the muzzle towards him in such a manner that it went off and shot him in the heart.” 21 year old John Bidwell turned to unload some furniture— a large desk he hauled out himself. Another young man came over to help him. “Oh, thank you, Joseph. Don’t need this, Misses,” he told the woman on the front of the Conestoga wagon. Jeremy came up behind the Doctor and used his elbow to touch the Doctor’s back. The Doctor was bending over. Jeremy wanted to lighten the mood. “He didn’t shot well, did he?” The Doctor straightened up. He looked at Jeremy. “Jeremy, do me favor. Never joke about another person’s grisly death.” Bidwell, who didn’t hear, turned back to them. “He lived about an hour and died in full possession of his senses.” He returned to the wagon itself to unload a wooden table with the young man. “I’m…” Jeremy looked at the Doctor staring at him after having turned to Bidwell to give him his attention. The Doctor had returned to staring at Jeremy. Jeremy felt convicted. “‘m…I’m sorry, Doctor. It must the stress.” “It’s not really like you, is it?” “No. I don’t even think Jesse would have made such a joke.” “It was clever though,” The Doctor put his head up. “Funny, too.” “Doctor,” Jeremy laughed. “I just don’t…” “What’s stressing you?” “I just don’t want to take another extended journey across the western part of the country for months on end again.” “Okay, we’re departin.” Bidwell put a hand out to the Doctor. “Nice to have met you boys.” The Doctor shook it. “Nice. Nice to have met you, boy. Very nice. Yes, very nice, indeed.” He shook the hand proficiently. Jeremy noticed and looked suspicious at the Doctor. He shook the hand, too but not as strongly. Some of the others said goodbye to them also. There was an older man, Captain John Bartleson, who was more serious and just grumpy. He harumpfed as he shook their hands. “Glad you chose to come with us and ours,” an older man with a long white beard said, behind the Doctor and Jeremy. “Ahh, yes, Broken Hand.” “I don’ts go by that name any more, youngster.” “Did he just call you a youngster?” Jeremy was amused and whispered this to the Doctor’s side. “Well,” the Doctor straightened his collar. “Who’s not mistake me for a youngster?” “I like you so use me real God given name— Fitzpatrick.” “Yes, brok…” The Doctor stopped and corrected, “Fitzhugh.” “Fitzpa…aww, just fur get it and let’s get movin’!” He moved to the front of the wagon train going to Oregon. It started out and everyone outside began to walk with it, alongside five foot wheels and the sides of the wagons. There were only a few women and one child. “He’s a barrel of laughs…” Jeremy laughed. “Will he get us there? I mean he must what? Really old, like 70?” “70s not old. Some of my best friends are…life doesn’t start until 170…anyway, he’s probably in his 80s but men were…more durable in these them there days…” “Why are you talkin like that, hombre?” “I don’t know. Why are you?” “I don’t know.” “How long will it take us to get there, mom?” Jeremy joked. “Oh, at this rate, about 780.4 miles at probably about 20 miles a day…I’d say about 39 or 40 days round bouts.” “What the fuck!!!” Jeremy yelled. Several of the pioneers who were waving at the departing other group, turned to look at him. They looked disgraced. “Jeremy, these are Jesuit fathers and brothers. I don’t think they’d care that you actually met Jesus. If you don’t watch your…” “I get it. I get it,” he warily looked at the others but addressed the Doctor. “So while I said I didn’t want to go on another extended journey through the old west of the US, here I am. I feel as if I’ll be separated from Jesse and the TARDIS for a lot longer than 40 days…” The Doctor put a hand on Jeremy’s back. “You won’t. Don’t worry. We’ll find the TARDIS…” “I know you will,” Jeremy smiled and looked at his feet as they walked along with the wagon train. The Doctor felt bad for chewing him out. He put a hand on Jeremy’s shoulder while straightening out his sneakers. “Of course, he wasn’t shot well but you might say a heart shot was a well shot.” Jeremy took the Doctor’s hand off him and tossed him by the arm and laughed. “Doctor…you just said…” “I mean if he died straight away…and let’s face it the idea that a man that old, say 21, which was old not to be married in this day and age, was straight…and not married well shot…me a shot.” “Doctor, stop!” Jeremy looked around. “You’re embarrassing me.” He looked around to see if anyone heard “Just trying to keep it light, Jeremy, my boy. I love you.” “I…was just trying to keep it light, too and…I…” Jeremy’s face felt flush and he knew it was red. “I love you, too.” “I know.” “Now, let’s see what we can see about seeing the TARDIS and that other one again.” “You mean Jesse?” “Yes, yes, of course, Leelo.” “Doctor, you’re joking again. Leelo’s gone.” “Gone?” “Yes, we said goodbye to him at the Mothers of Para again, remember?” “Yes, yes. I do hope I did the right thing leaving him with Fesh there. They’ll be having plenty of sex without us…” The Doctor held onto Jeremy again and then afterward, they began to walk along the wagon train. “You really think so?” “Yeah, `course. I can read such things.” “Yeah cause you’re so good at being gay!” Jeremy mocked. “I mean it took you how long to come out?” The Doctor gulped and swallowed. “I now have a kind of…sixth sense about those things.” “Gaydar?” “Maybe?” “Really?” Jeremy nodded his head up and down in mock agreement. “Me thoughts you were totally illiterate when it cumes to cumming situations or rather,” he waved his hands a bit while his lover rolled his eyes and then smiled knowing he was being teased, “…the situations that cum before the cumming…rather…” “Very funny, thanks a lot, that helps.” The Doctor looked deeply sad for a moment. Jeremy looked apologetic. He hadn’t realized what a sore point that was for the Doctor. He drooped his eye brows and put an arm around the Doctor’s hips. “Hey, look I didn’t mean to bring up the past…” “Jeremy,” The Doctor didn’t look him in the eyes. He gazed at the sand under them. “We’re in the past…” “Yeah, a great big Idaho…I DUH HO. Get it?” “That’s not funny…” The Doctor said with his mouth but his face showed he was amused. “I am not amused…” Jeremy ignored him. “Hardly seems like the past except for the great big wagon wheels and, you know —–all the cowboys and the great big, tired wagon train…” “I da ho.” The Doctor shook his head. “I didn’t mean…I mean you came out, right?” “You guys did it first,” the Doctor reminded him. “Nah. Not really. Let’s just say we did it together. At the same time,” Jeremy said. “I was braver though.” He winked at the Doctor. “Yes. Yes, you were but I wouldn’t say that to Jesse. I had…oh I lost track again. I guess some 10,000 years ahead of you. Sometimes behind you but I should have had a huge head start in coming out.” “Wait.” Jeremy pointed a finger into the air and stared at the Doctor’s side. “You’re 10,000 years old? I thought…” “Yeah,” the Doctor strung out the word. They stopped walking. Not at the same time. Jeremy stopped first. The Doctor turned to look at the boy and then returned to him. “You kay?” “Cor blimey,” Jeremy said. “My mum’s right. That’s one hellvah age gap.” “Yeah and that round about rounded figure might…be…wrong.” “What’s age to a Time Lord?” “Not so loud.” The Doctor whispered and put a hand up. Jeremy kissed it. “I’m getting a stalk on, I think, here.” He shook his head and cleared his throat. “We have to watch that, too.” “Yes. Yes, I remember. The past is not…not very evolved, is it?” The Doctor tilted his head. “Naire…I dunno,” he said as his voice went a bit high. “In some ways.” “Anyway…” Jeremy slapped his fight arm from his hip along horizontally toward the Doctor’s stomach in a playful gesture. “I was only kidd…joshin’ ya pardner…” “It did take me a long time to get the gay thing.” “Owh. Me, too. I mean the me, too movement came and went before I got it. I mean, no, that was my future. You know what you always say about time travel, it’s true. It’s a bit confusing at times.” He stopped. The Doctor stopped and turned to him. They waited a few moments and burst out laughing. The Doctor moved back to Jeremy and put an arm around him. “C’mon.” TARDIS 9: 31 am? …He rolled over and saw the clock on a dresser. They all had separate rooms and one big room for when they slept together…which was more than not. This room he hardly used but when he did it was just for rest. The clock didn’t really have much significance. It was mounted by a horizontal hold rod to the wall…when TARDIS shook, rocked and rolled, most things were held in place by its gravity forces or just mini and minor force fields…which didn’t always apply to the human beings on board and some things were not. He always meant to ask the old boy why. When the Doctor left he must have set that clock for him because it now read something like 9:30. Was that AM? Or PM? He focused his eyes. AM. A good enough time to get up. He felt well rested now. He threw the covers off himself but kept them on the bed. He flung his feet over the side and cleared his throat. He did, even before letting his feet hit the warm floor of the TARDIS bedroom, a few throat exercises. “Me Me me me me…” He smiled. He rubbed his eyes, considering how his throat took precedence over his eyes. He felt the warmth of the TARDIS beneath his feet and its antiseptic cleanliness. He moved on toward the bathroom that was in off to the bedroom’s left but then decided to try one of the larger ones in the hallway. He shuffled out, deciding to put on PJs in case Leelo was wandering about. He slipped on light red checkered PJ bottoms which were lined with black and a bit of yellow. He thinks they had been the Doctor’s or a few of the Doctors’ at one time or more…they didn’t really fit him but he liked the feel of the fabric. He also put on a T-shirt top that was a bit too short cut for him, showing that thin line of sliver of flesh between it and the bottoms. He shuffled out into the hallway and moved about six feet down it to the open doored bathroom on the left. Jesse sat on the toilet bowl and before he knew it, something was laying in his underwear. He looked down and ignored the TARDIS shower rug. “Doctor, that’s cheesy, even for you,” he had told the bemused Doctor when he saw that. Jesse had put his undies on the night before because Leelo might have accidentally wandered in. He looked down from reading his cell phone when he realized Simone, the yellow-ish � orange-ish kitten. Was she a kitten? How old was she? What was her background? Was she even a cat or from Earth? Cat WHO? He wondered all that, some of it for the first time. She was doing what she liked to do best: lay in his underwear while he was going to the bathroom. “I know I’m hot down there.” The cat was telepathic. “Warm.” “Too hot for you, pussy.” “Luke warm.” “I love you, too, Simone. It’s been ages since I’ve had some bonding time with you.” “For a reason. I didn’t want any.” “Love you, too.” “I know. Besides. You DO know and remember Leelo’s been gone for some time now. You can get naked again like you always are.” “See. You want me nude.” “Not sure when you dressed for any boy…” “Leelo was a bit…young for us…” “That never stopped you before.” “Can I wake up first before I’m insulted?” The Doctor and Jeremy was a major help to the Wagon Train. Jeremy learned he had to go to the bathroom by not going to the bathroom. He had to either go off in the desert…shy around women so he had to find a cactus or something or go in a bucket. He usually choose the former. Sometimes they drove the wagon they were attached to. A woman and her kids who had lost their husband back East. Sometimes they walked and sometimes they taught the kids. WEEKS PASS… TARDIS 9: 31 am? …He rolled over and saw the clock on a dresser. They all had separate rooms and one big room for when they slept together…which was more than not. This room he hardly used but when he did it was just for rest. The clock didn’t really have much significance. It was mounted by a horizontal hold rod to the wall…when TARDIS shook, rocked and rolled, most things were held in place by its gravity forces or just mini and minor force fields…which didn’t always apply to the human beings on board and some things were not. He always meant to ask the old boy why. When the Doctor left he must have set that clock for him because it now read something like 9:30. Was that AM? Or PM? He focused his eyes. AM. A good enough time to get up. He felt well rested now. He threw the covers off himself but kept them on the bed. He flung his feet over the side and cleared his throat. He did, even before letting his feet hit the warm floor of the TARDIS bedroom, a few throat exercises. “Me Me me me me…” He smiled. He rubbed his eyes, considering how his throat took precedence over his eyes. He felt the warmth of the TARDIS beneath his feet and its antiseptic cleanliness. He moved on toward the bathroom that was in off to the bedroom’s left but then decided to try one of the larger ones in the hallway. He shuffled out, deciding to put on PJs in case Leelo was wandering about. He slipped on light red checkered PJ bottoms which were lined with black and a bit of yellow. He thinks they had been the Doctor’s or a few of the Doctors’ at one time or more…they didn’t really fit him but he liked the feel of the fabric. He also put on a T-shirt top that was a bit too short cut for him, showing that thin line of sliver of flesh between it and the bottoms. He shuffled out into the hallway and moved about six feet down it to the open doored bathroom on the left. Jesse sat on the toilet bowl and before he knew it, something was laying in his underwear. He looked down and ignored the TARDIS shower rug. “Doctor, that’s cheesy, even for you,” he had told the bemused Doctor when he saw that. Jesse had put his undies on the night before because Leelo might have accidentally wandered in. He looked down from reading his cell phone when he realized Simone, the yellow-ish � orange-ish kitten. Was she a kitten? How old was she? What was her background? Was she even a cat or from Earth? Cat WHO? He wondered all that, some of it for the first time. She was doing what she liked to do best: lay in his underwear while he was going to the bathroom. “I know I’m hot down there.” The cat was telepathic. “Warm.” “Too hot for you, pussy.” “Luke warm.” “I love you, too, Simone. It’s been ages since I’ve had some bonding time with you.” “For a reason. I didn’t want any.” “Love you, too.” “I know. Besides. You DO know and remember Leelo’s been gone for some time now. You can get naked again like you always are.” “See. You want me nude.” “Not sure when you dressed for any boy…” “Leelo was a bit…young for us…” “That never stopped you before.” “Can I wake up first before I’m insulted?” Outside: More days pass…another week… TARDIS 9: 43 am? After finishing, he stood up and shuffled toward the elaborate, exotic and very white colored kitchen area. It reminded him of the spaceship interior used in the Hollywood film version of HITCH HIKER’S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY. “Earl Grey Tea with a touch of Manuka honey, multi floral, please.” He told this to the coffee machine. “And I know you make tea, too, so…” He looked up and waited. The machine responded and under the device a cup dropped and tea poured from it. “Thanks!” He took it and sipped it. “Video. CA.” Jesse had his bowl of oatmeal in his hand and danced around. He whirled, naked, along the corridors and into the console room and out again. He spun to the pool area and finished his bowl. He spun into the TARDIS church and looked in and looked up. He was mouthing the words. All set to…CALIFORNIA DREAMING. Simone snuggled into a cushion. K9 unplugged from his station in his dog room. He picked his head up. He danced through the TARDIS, removing his clothes and later, putting them on again and kept dancing… https://www.youtube/watch?v=N-aK6JnyFmk the same owl graced his chest only this one was holding a strangely flat sided skull. Under that was the word loyality, spelled wrong and on the left side of his forehead it said Anthony. A former lover? It would take a whole book to write about all the other tats on him, for almost every square inch of him was covered except his nose, forehead, even his fingers and toes. A dimensional doorway was on his neck which caught the Doctor’s eye because it looked so real. There were also smaller triangles, stars of David, satanic stars, sunsets, moons, circles, crosses, trees, leaves, and other smaller objects. His bod looked shaded. His original skin was very light, though. His toes were in sandals. He was, of course shirtless and it was his navel that was the most interesting. Under that chest owl was a face and his squat but well rounded belly button was the mouth of the face opening in a large “O”. The artist used Yef’s belly button shaded on all sides and inside to make it look ever wider at the circumference, the rim dark and the inside darker, the lips the rim, the lips dark and looking as if the button were huge. The Doctor shook his head. The man was extremely good looking. He had an extremely symmetrical face, dark brown eyes, a pert nose, thick full lips. Huge pecs, nips that stood out. Under the right pec was an ALIEN from ALIENS…the Doctor would love to know how he came to have that and under that a hooded sort of female Satanist vampire screaming to the side. Under the face was a pentagram that looked as if it came out of either the Daemons’s manifesto of the BOOK OF SHADOWS from CHARMED. The left hip and flexor muscle had a hound from hell on it. The left arm had a white woman wearing spectacles and a flowing dress. She looked rather depressed. Many of the things on the man’s body were anachronistic, even for 1880s, let alone the 1840s. The Doctor ducked as the muscled hot man swing a chair at him…the chair coming from the Doctor’s left toward the right. The Doctor put both hands on the chair and held it to his right. “I should like a talk with you, young man! Did you have the Master or the Monk or worse yet, that scoundrel the Male Rani, as your tatter?” The man took his hands off the chair, pulling them from the Doctor’s hands and grabbed his cigar with his right hand and plunged it at the Doctor’s left eye. “I’m Yef and you gonna be blind.” “Shame. I like lookin at ya!” The Doctor dropped the chair at the same time and grabbed the man’s wrist with both hands. The cigar plunged but the Doctor held it at bay. He drove his right knee up into the tat face’s nose, the center of Yef’s abs and the man barely felt it. The Doctor let go of the wrist with his left hand and grabbed down at Yef’s balls. As the cigar plunged at his eye, Yef screamed and dropped it. He pulled back. The Doctor did several things at once. “That’ll tea…oh my, what big balls you have and that thing in the center leaning on me wrist..e up and see me some time…” he said but he also caught the cigar. “As for smoking, this’ll teach you the hard way,” he said as he saw Yef reach for a small gun on his upper leg…something he just assumed was another tattoo. “…not to smoke or shoot…” the Doctor took the cigar and plunged into the man’s mouth…the tat man, not Yef’s. Yet hollowed anyway as his belly button took the hot cigar all the way in and the Doctor then back handed it inward some more. “Well, you can shoot on me later but from yer COCK, cockhead!” The Doctor punched Yef back for effect as Yef tried to take the cigar out of his navel and was having a hard time. A very HARD time. His balls full to the sack so to speak hurt but he was horny already. The Doctor touching it and the pain in his belly button görükle escort made him unload and his dick came up out of pants and splewed everywhere. He fell back again and twisted to try to not hit face down but he hit face down and the cigar burned in some more. “YEOWWWW!” The Doctor looked wide eyed. “Oh, Yef, that was…that was…I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry I burned you but that was worth it.” He clapped. “Cum. I clap fer you!” The Doctor turned and gave a karate chop to another who was pulling out a small pistol, too. That man fell, unconscious. The Doctor kicked the pistol under the bar. He then turned to find Yef turned onto his back and the cigar half out. “Lemme help ya wid dat!” He pulled it out and Yef screamed. When he recovered and held his navel area, crunching his hot abs, he looked up innocently. “I …I’m so sorry!” “Hey!” The Doctor stood over him and moved his hands away and put his hands over the belly button, which was smoking. “That’s my line!” “You gonna…you gonna kilt me now?” He asked innocently, his eyebrows up. “It doesn’t pay. As me ole friend Nat Love…ha, Love, used to say.” “I ain’t a bad guy!” “Dick Deadwood!” “Waaa?” “Ricky! WAAA. That was his name. Like you. A Dick. Dead. Wood.” “I said I ain’t a bad fella.” “Naw, just shoving cigars in Time Lord’s eyes!” The Doctor smacked his face, “Now, be a good boy and stay outta the fight.” “I couldn’t if I wanted to fight.” “You sure didn’t get meself good English…” “So, you’re no gonna kill Yef?” “Right. A white guy beating up a black guy and a Mexican in the same day, responsible sort of for one of them being shot in the belly and …no, I’m not gonna kill ya,” The Doctor said and picked him up by the back and shoved him toward the door, “Now, git yourself to Doc’s.” He stumbled away, looking at the Doctor with a mixture of reverence, surprise, accusation, and pain. The Doctor pointed. “And keep yourself at the ready, you know far too much intelligentsia for your own time.” “Mean I’m smart?” He smiled a perfect white set of teeth. “Nah. No. Someone’s time polluted ya. Now, ged out!” The Doctor put his foot out and stepped back as another guy rushed at him. He shoved another guy away from him, who threatened him with a bottle. The bottle fell over and hit a guy that was on top of Clark. It felled that guy. Clark stood up. “Thank you!” Another guy tackled him. Yef held his belly button with both hands as he stumbled to the doors and got out safely. The Doctor ducked and the lightly dark skinned young cowboy trying to hit him with a bottle from behind, smashed into the table with a lot of help from the Doctor’s flat palm on his back. He managed to turn around. The Doctor was about to palm him in the chin or punch him in the chin or nose or all three when he noticed how great looking the guy was. And for some reason he thought of the now buffer Mickey Smith. But this guy was hotter if not buffer. For one thing he had big black eyes. He clearly had mixed parents, one African American parent and one white parent. The Doctor sort of licked the smooth face of the frightened man. “South African and uh, Swiss. I thought the smooth skin…” He ducked as bottle of whiskey passed over head to smash behind the bar not a few inches from the table, which in the fight moved over far too close to the bar and toppled a stool under it. “HUH!?” The smooth skinned half black half white man gasped and tried to get up. He wore all white. A white vest with designs on it, far too clean for this guy to have had honest work yet. Under the vest he wore nothing, no shirt, but the smooth skin and the bumps of his hot abs flashed mulatto shine on the Doctor. He also had a tripod like deep belly button that seemed to go on in forever and twist upward like a balloon tip. Instead of letting up, the Doctor, amid all the noise behind the bar and behind him, put a hand flat on the young man’s bare chest, between well defined pecs and asked, “What’s your name, kid? You look familiar.” “Trevor Noah!” The Doctor gaped. “Trev…Vo…NOOOO…ahhhh…” “Yes!” The Doctor finished his, “Ahhh,” with an upper cut to Trevor’s chin and then to his tight belly, which he sure neither did much damage. He moved onto the next guy who seemed to be approaching him after punching Clark away from him and Clark twirled in his pain toward another fighting cowboy. They were outnumbered so the Doctor took on another man and used Venusian karate to counter every punch this new man tried. Robert having just punched down a man, called out. “DOCTOR! Behind you!” Behind the Doctor was Trevor Noah pulling both guns and ready to shoot. His fingers moved on the latch of his gun to shoot the Doctor in the back. Robert knew the Doctor couldn’t react in time and as fast as possible, Robert, who didn’t want to draw his guns in the saloon, and didn’t want anyone to know how fast he was, drew one gun and shot Trevor in the belly button. He followed with a shot to his hand, to knock the gun down so that in his dying moves, he couldn’t shoot the Doctor or Robert himself. Trevor, the gun dropped to the floor, looked shocked and reacted as if he had been punched. He looked down and saw a bullet lodged in his navel. Burning it. “Hawt! Hawt lead me belly button! Damn! I don’t wanna…” Trevor looked at Robert accusingly but Robert turned on another fighter who started to draw his gun but this one was so close that as the Doctor yelled out… … “Don’t kill anyone else!”… …that Robert was prompted to knee the man in his crotch, grab the gun arm, the gun firing blindly and hitting a wooden pole in the bar that held up part of the ceiling, dropping some residue on the fighters. The Doctor had turned after felling the guy that grappled with him, to look at Trevor Noah. He moved over to him and didn’t want to touch him. He put his hands on his head. “I’m so sorry. I’m so, so, so sorry!” Trevor gasped. “S-st…sorry? Stop the pain…stop da pa…pain…puh…lezzz…” Trevor slowly sunk to the floor. The Doctor moved him over to the table and made sure he laid him on the table as he slowly died in pain. The Doctor put a hand to his head. “I will. I’ll stop the pain. You know you’re a pain. You shouldn’t be putting yourself out there starting trouble if you don’t want to die.” “I…I want to die. I want to die now. Didn’t wan to.” “Thought you could give your race a boost?” “I’m sorry.” “No,” the Doctor noticed as the boy shook and his eyes went wide, “I’m sorry. For you.” He shut the boy’s eyes. He was dead. “Robert! No more janus thorns, no more killing!” Robert did the ole one two punch on a fighter and felled him and turned to the Doctor’s area, “What are you talking about? You limmie’s so fuckin’ strange!” The Doctor ducked and flipped a man that came running at him. The man hit the floor and another man, trying to smash a chair at Robert’s back, missed thanks to a pointing warning from the Doctor. Who yelled at Robert, “Foul language is the last bastion of the inherently ignorant, Leela.” Another man, Bean, swung a lasso at Jeremy and it wrapped around his shoulder but Bean seemed to be aiming for his neck. Bean pulled Jeremy toward him but as Jeremy was launched at Bean, Jeremy leaned both hands on a table and swung both feet into Bean’s chest and knocked him into two more men. All three went sprawling down and Kittie delivered a bottle to each of their heads. Jeremy jumped up on the biggest table and hopped up over the swing of an axe by another man, Yennie. He jumped again and kicked Yennie in the chest and drove him to the floor, too. And small wooden barrel on the table was kicked into another man, Share. Robert put rest to most others, who backed off when they saw his guns but he looked at about five men were on top the bar. “Jeremy, Doctor, Clark �get the fuck down! Hit da deck!” The men started to fire into the crowd of fighters, hitting even men on their own side. Jeremy rolled the table he was on and put it as a shield for himself. The Doctor, Clark and the Native boy were with him soon, behind it. “This table won’t last long!” Clark gasped. “I say, I say, I say! You’re right, Henry Gordon Jago!” The Doctor puffed. “Why are you calling me by a different name? I’m Clark!” Clark said as the horny Native wrapped up behind him and put both hands down Clark’s pants. “Don’t mind the Doctor. Bar fights always make him giddy.” Jeremy tried to peek up over the table side, which was now the top of their makeshift shield. A bullet almost hit him as it passed. “Hate em!” The Doctor snapped. “Bar fights that is. Love me some bare fights. Bare wrestling is best.” “Hates violence.” Jeremy snapped. “Especially when I’m the one being violented upon.” “It gets me horny.” The Native said. “I wondered what you were doing!” Clark gasped and threw his head back in ecstasy. The expert Native’s hands were doing wondered around his flesh worm between his legs. Wrapping, writhing, slicking, massaging, jerking sideways, lining the vein along the front of his entire shaft. He has expert sensual fingers. Clark was ready to cum. “You…you…you’re good…about to…ohhhhh.” “If we about to die, might as well.” The Native kissed the back of Clark’s neck. One of the men looked at Robert. “A man willing to die with his man, the dandy Doctor!” “Oh no, he’s not my man,” Robert pointed. “He is!” He pointed at Jeremy who had stuck his head out. He waved at Robert. “Stupid boys, no one’s going to die today!” Jeremy said. The men on the bar didn’t aim at Robert but at the table top. This gave Robert a chance and he ran for the door where he knocked Charlie down onto his back and ended up face down on the boy. Robert rolled off. “Sorry, no thanks. Not today!” He moved back toward the back door. Charlie looked at him. “You’re…you’re not leaving, are you?” Rob ignored him and moved as far to the door as he could and opened it. Charlie wondered, “COWARD! You coward!” Robert propped the door open with a case of bottles. He took one out and smacked the top off with a bang to another crate. He drank some and put it down. “Don’t drink, Kid.” He ran outside. “You fucking coward!” Charlie yelled. “They is gonna die!” He wondered why he worried about them more than his own father. He wondered where his father was. Archie reached the door on the other side of the saloon with the drink undamaged. He managed to cross the floor of carnage without getting killed but more importantly without spilling the alien drink he loved so much. Kitty had been looking in the storage room that Archie was near. She searched for weapons and only came out with bottles. As she exited, she took Archie’s drink and downed it. Archie fumed but then shrugged and from his inner shirt took out some liquor of the old kind and drank that. The table the Doctor, Jeremy, Clark and the Native hid behind seemed to be having greater and greater damage to it as the men shot it up. Wood splintered. Holes started to form. The Doctor looked through a near hole and almost go this eye shot out. “Why’s everyone after me eyes?” Robert had a running start and snapped at Charlie, “Get outta my way!” “Yore always a’sayin’ that!” Charlie flung himself to one side as Robert passed him by, en route to the main room. Robert ran until he reached the bar area and the men shooting the table didn’t have time to react. Robert threw himself onto his sliding back and the floor, wet with liquor helped Robert in his slide. On his back, sliding under the bar, Robert shot each of the five men in turn. They tried to point their guns at him but the edge of the bar protected Robert and his motion made it even more difficult. Robert reached the end of the bar and shot all the men there. He cowered into the corner but saw almost no one left to shoot or kill. Almost. Jeremy saw what happened through one of the holes. The Doctor warned him as he put his eye to it. He put a hand on Jeremy’s arm. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” Jeremy put a hand on the Doctor’s arm just like the Doctor had done to him. He put an eye to the hole. He smiled. “If I’m going to die, I wanna see it coming.” The Doctor gestured his head and eyes toward Clark’s penis head which, ten inches up and out was cumming. A high fountain head. “Well, just turn round, pard’ner. You’ll see it cuming up a big high tail wind! A hurricum of sugar cane!” Jeremy did so and sucked in air as cum flew across the air and hit the table. It plugged a hole with a permeable slather of a curtain of liquid that dripped and looked like a plug but was merely a blob of boy juice! “It’s all right now!” Robert stood up and had Charlie on his shoulders. “Yeah, this here coward saved the day!” “Kid, you wanna go for a spill on some glass?” “Naw. Just a moniker of love.” “You love me?” “Where’s mi dad?” The other Charlie came out from under a small alcove that no one new about. A struggling man rose up from the floor. A man that had tried to grab at Kitty’s breast. “I need to get back there.” Kitty used the bar door to smack the man’s face and he fell again. The Doctor rose up from the table. “What a mess.” From the door two men moved in with a device on wheels. “Aw, hella no!” The Doctor said and ran at both men and jumped. He flung himself with arms out and grabbed at them as they fired what they brought in…a gatling gun. The Doctor took both men out the main window with him. The glass smashed and all three tumbled outside. The gun went off but Noah, coming in from the street stopped it. The others had taken cover and the spray of bullets mostly went over their heads and some at the corner. The other riders stopped in shock as they were almost hit by the Doctor and two men who came out the saloon’s window, smashing it to nothingness. The African stud and the Asian hunk punched the two men down before they could recover. Butler pointed out the Doctor. “He’s with us.” He helped the stunned Doctor up. “Spank you, Smutler.” The Doctor shook glass off him. “Smutler, ha! That’s a good one.” “Spank? You mean thank?” “No. I love redheads. I mean spank.” When the other riders joined them, Robert said, angrily, “Thanks for all the help!” “We got here as quickly as we could cum,” Noah laughed and looked at the other guys. They all laughed. Young Micah walked in. The Doctor looked at him. “Thank you for all the help, Sheriff!” “You folk took out the Rustle Gang.” “Rustle gang?” The Doctor asked. “I supposed they’re cattle rustlers led by a guy named Rustle?” “They is but my bar!” Charlie Sr rose up from behind the counter and put two hands on his nearly bald head. “It’s totally destroyed.” Using his left hand, the Doctor took out a large bag of nuggets. He put his left arm under his right arm as he tossed it to Charlie, who missed it but his son caught it and looked inside. “Gold, pa! That there’s gold in them thar bag!” “That’ll more than cover the cost.” The Doctor nodded and gestured. “Just get ole Woody and his gang to fix it all up.” “Woody?” Jeremy asked, “Who’s Woody?” “Woodsmen, and his shop. Repairmen.” “You sure made a lot of friends quickly.” Robert laughed. “I’ll say.” Jeremy put an elbow on Robert’s side. The Doctor shrugged and examined the gatling gun. “This shouldn’t be here.” “About Woody?” “You were sleeping the second day we were here. I made friends. You know how I feel sleep is for tortoises. I don’t need a lot of …well, that. Sleep that is. And Charlie squared there, if you want, uh, a good wood job, Woody and his men are the men for you.” The Doctor winked at Robert, Noah, and Jeremy. They laughed. Jeremy had a look of appreciation and love. He turned to Robert and held his sides. “You. Thank you for all the help. And unlike them, I mean it. You laid it all on the line for us.” “Now, I’d like to just get me laid…” “You could’ve been kilt.” They held each other but Jeremy didn’t wait any longer. He planted a good kiss on Robert’s thick lips and they didn’t stop for a long, long time. Clark was trying to tell the Doctor something. “Sheriff Micha…” “I tell you I was ticketing someone for illegal parking of his horse and not feeding it nuff.” “I get ya,” The Doctor said, “But you should take charge of this dangerous weapon. I’lll dismantle it for you.” “Thank you, sir.” Micah Torrance was 23, slim and wiry but not very tall. He was in over his head as Sheriff and the Doctor met him one the second day he was here. “You know him, too?” Noah asked. “I wanna deputize you, Doctor for what you and your friends did here today.” “Destroy a bar? A man’s place of business?” “For capturing this here Rustle gang.” “Doctor…” Clark started. “Well, put em all in jail, I don’t care. Those that are alive,” The Doctor cast a look at Robert, who was making out with Jeremy. “I’m more interested in this…gatling gun…I don’t want it around…AND…” he turned to Micah. “…I DON’t want to be deputy.” “Sheriff then. I’ll be right’in ta be deputy.” “Micah Torrance…” “I have to tell you something, Doctor…” As Clark tried to tell the Doctor something, the Doctor began rambling, thinking Jeremy was with him, at his side but it was Clark. “Jeremy,” he whispered. “The Gatling gun is a rapid-fire weapon invented in 1861 by Richard Jordan Gatling and a forerunner of the modern machine gun. It is also a forerunner of the modern electric motor-driven rotary guns and rotary cannons.” “Doctor,” Clark whispered, too. “About Robert…” “One of the best-known early rapid-fire firearms, the Gatling gun saw occasional use by the Union forces during the American Civil War, which was the first time it was employed in combat. It was later used in numerous military conflicts, including the Boshin War, the Anglo-Zulu War and the assault on San Juan Hill during the Spanish�American War.” “Doc!” “It was also used by the Pennsylvania militia in episodes of the Great Railroad Strike of 1877, specifically in Pittsburgh.” “Doctor…about Robert…” “What about me?” Robert broke Jeremy’s kissing and took his tongue out of Jeremy’s throat. “Just that you inspired me to help, too.” Clark said. “Did I?” “Yes, I mean I know I’m older than you are but I’m not a fighting man.” The Native was behind Clark. “Need any help in school?” “Yes, I can use all the help you can give, kid.” Kitty was waving a handkerchief around. “Girl issues. I’m in heat.” All the males said, “EWL,” even both Charlies. Dr. Adams had to patch up quite a few felons that night. Those who lived. Jeremy and the Doctor left the saloon. “Don’t you want your hat back?” “Oh, no, I’ve got lots of them. You know there was a time I collected hats. A lot. I used to go round, saying, I should like a hat like that and then I got one…lots of ones…” To prove this, the Doctor took another cowboy hat out of his left pocket and showed Jeremy and then put it back in his pocket. “Where’d you get your new one?” “I don’t know. Someone heard we rounded up the Rustle gang and she gave me one. I think it was one of those whor…girls we met on the first day.” “Probably Rosa. She didn’t like the gang much.” “See her while I was sleeping, did you?” The Doctor moved his eyes sideways. “Uh…as a master of fact…” “Now, you’re protected Doctor.” Robert said to himself. “And once you’re dead, I can have your little lover as mine.” BALLAD: You’ve a good chance of swingin’, It’s your last chance to hide. And your last chance at singin’ Till your last long ride. https://www.youtube/watch?v=75V4ClJZME4 JEREMY: “If you want to learn more about the Old West, gunfighters, cattle rustlers, Jesse James, wagon trains, Bidwell, Father DeSemet, the Oregon Trail or anything else in history take a VOYAGE down to your public library. It’s all in BOOKS!” DOCTOR WHO WESTERN ube/watch?v=FqeMH9SEYtA Charlie Sr – David Graham Cowboys – John Doye, Roy Curtis John Caesar Bill Smith Maurice Good David Cole Shane Rimmer John Alderson Anthony Jacobs Richard Beale Reed De Rouen Laurence Payne Martyn Huntley Victor Carin Singer – Lynda Baron Stephen-Peter Purves Robert-that guy from the New MacGuyver Native-Lou Diamond Phillips Bar Girls – Vilma Stuttle, Maureen Lane, Maureen Nelson Wagon Trainers- Reg Cranfield, Leslie Shannon, Mark Allington, Jonas Kurchi, Kevin Leslie, John De Marco, Derek Chafer Mexican Cowboy – Antony Billing Chinese Fighters – Jackie Ho, Edward Cheekan Wagon Train Wife – Marguerite Young Wagon Train Daughters – Jane Tucker, Edwina Salmon Savage – John Raven SUPPORT NIFTY for a shot from your fty/donate.html

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