Alterations From Arun to Ahilya (Part 1): The Awakening

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My name is Arun and I am a forty-five-year-old single bisexual male slut. I wasn’t always this way and my gradual transition to this state of mind has required a deeper understanding of my needs and desires.  I can’t say there is one specific moment where I knew that I was a slut. Rather it’s been a gradual process of experiences, the projections of others and personal reflections.I was born and raised in the UK. My parents arrived on British shores from India in the 1960s as economic migrants. We lived in a predominantly white working-class northern town in England where conservative family values formed the basis of many of the local traditions. My father was a hard-working man that focused on providing for his family and my mother was a homemaker. To all intents and purposes, I was just a normal male, with a good upbringing and education that would follow the same path as his parents and the other men in our community.I was in my late twenties at the time, around 5ft 8in (or 170cm), and presented as a straight and conservative male then, as I do today. I guess I was gym fit, lean, and would have had a good, muscular physique. I was dating a nice girl that I’d met at university. She was attractive, caring, and satisfied me in every way. At this age, I was very much a dominant male with an emerging versatile side. Most of the men I met liked servicing me and many had “a thing” for Asians. Given my location, I was considered an exotic creature. I never had any issues finding men to service me.I regarded myself as experienced having had encounters with men and women from my early adult life. I never had a bi-curious phase. I’d shed the nervousness of my younger years and was comfortable with my bisexuality albeit I was extremely discreet for social and cultural reasons. Only the men I met knew about my proclivity for cock. I tended to go for married or bisexual men like me as I felt that they had as much to lose and were a saver bet.Sexually speaking I’d never really wanted to fuck men so didn’t considered myself as a top. Furthermore I’d never played with my own hole at any point. I had no curiosity. My own early escapades in receiving anal sex had failed dramatically as I always found it too painful and therefore derived zero pleasure. Instead, I opted for long steamy sessions of touching, kissing, sucking, and swallowing. The majority of men I met were white guys though I never had a racial preference. It was more about convenience given my catchment area.There was one caveat with reference to my hole-istic limitations.  When I was around nineteen a guy inadvertently introduced me to rimming. I didn’t ask to be rimmed as I didn’t know what it was. When he entered my hole it felt like ecstasy. And from that day forth I was hooked. My love for being rimmed would grow to the point where I’d brazenly write “rimmers jump the queue” on my various online profiles.I would lay on my stomach for hours and allow men to insert their tongues deep inside me. My moans provided ample feedback that I was enjoying the experience. Through the years I actively sought rimmers. Manny wanted no reciprocation. All they did was eat ass. I met men that rimmed me using slings, rim seats, and more.Amusingly I once even Googled if there was a rimmers themed UK gay night. My hypothesis was based on the other themed nights I’d seen advertised online like bear nights, trans nights, piss nights, and more. “Why couldn’t there be a rim night,” I thought to myself. My online search revealed no results in the UK for a rim night or globally for the night matter. There’s a gap in the market for any entrepreneurs out there!I would never talk about anal when contacting men. And anyone contacting me for anal would be ignored as they’d clearly not read my profile or reviews. It was the men that I met face to face who would bring up the subject in their excited state. I always felt obligated to allow anyone that had given me a good rimming the chance to fuck me, but only when asked. I was never going to prompt the conversation. I didn’t want to be viewed as a selfish lover or unappreciative given the pleasure I’d received and I wanted to be able to reciprocate in every way. The few attempts that were made would all end in failure as I’d shout, “Stop, stop, pull out, it hurts.” When this happened I always felt that the other person was disappointed and unsatisfied. I was also convinced that this was a contributing factor to why most men only met me once and if I was lucky twice.To compensate for my limitations I’d honed my oral skills. Sucking, edging, and milking was second nature. I’d get compliments isvecbahis from all the recipients and had accumulated a large number of positive online testimonials. I had a gag reflex however I could manage 7 inches. I’d never met anyone with a cock larger. I’d work it vigorously, make froth, massage, deepthroat, and make slurping noises. I had many styles and techniques each tailored to the individual I met. I enjoyed highly verbal, visual, and messy oral. I had no inhibitions on this front as it was my number one weapon so it had to be good. And when the moment came I preferred the recipients to cum in my mouth with a little over my face. I’d open wide to reveal the volume of his deposited, swallow and open wide again. Everyone seemed to enjoy my show. I liked the visualisation of this conclusion. I never really understood why some men wanted to cum over my body. It seemed wasteful. Much of what I did was theatre as I attempted to emulate or better the dirtiest oral female pornstars that I admired and learned from.This was the alternative lifestyle that I enjoyed in my private space and I was completely content. It was around this period that I met the pharmacist.For the purposes of this story, I will refer to the pharmacist by the name Loz, the nickname I had given him as opposed to calling him Laurance. He was in his late fifties, around 5ft 11in (180cm). He had an average build and average looks. He was well proportioned with no overly attractive external features. He owned a pharmacy on the opposite side of town. I knew the area but seldom ventured there as it was a little rough. Loz was intelligent, well-mannered, with a nice family. Loz was married but admitted that he hadn’t had sex with his wife for many years. He explained, “I always knew there was something different about me but I didn’t know what it was. No one talked about it back then and I wasn’t going to bring up the subject.”He married early due to family and social expectations.  “I was around thirty when the penny dropped.” By this, he meant that he acknowledged that he was sexually attracted to men.“By that time I was all in and I was already a dad with another one on the way. I couldn’t and didn’t want to leave.” Everything Loz said made sense. Sometimes you need to make sacrifices for the things that you love.We met via the Gaydar chat rooms and chatted for extended periods of time about a number of subjects. Loz was different from the men I’d chatted with before. He didn’t focus on sex. Our initial conversations revolved around work, friends, hobbies, and we just “shot the breeze” in a relaxed conversational style. I found him to be uncharacteristically open. We did talk about sex but it was never in a sordid way. We never had “cyber sex” as it was called back then. Loz never asked about specifics and appreciated my privacy. He complimented me on my well-written and detailed profile and told me that he was attracted to intelligent, educated guys like me.Loz and I quickly struck up a good friendship and became regular bed fellows. We’d arrange to meet weekly and the sex was great. I’d arrive showered and fresh, and he’d have everything ready. We’d have a couple of glasses of wine supplied by Loz. Smoke a couple of joints supplied by me and enjoy one another’s bodies. He was a passionate and attentive lover. I was eager to chow down on his 7-inch cock. His rimming technique was good and he complimented my oral skills. We were both happy with the arrangement.His experience was extensive and he introduced me to aromas. I initially thought they had no effect on me. I gradually learned to appreciate the benefits as I become a raging sex maniac with each sniff.  My pharmacist would take tablets, something I didn’t partake in as my preference was for smoking recreationally.Loz became my first regular guy. I began to appreciate the big upsides associated with meeting someone frequently. Our connection evolved as we explored our sexual histories, how we became bisexuals, our first time, and more. He was expressive and articulate, and could always find the right combination of words to illuminate his explanations, insights, and stories. Loz provided a physical, sexual, and intellectual space where I could impart the unfettered details about my bisexual side along with my deeper thoughts about my preferences. He evolved my thinking and helped me to access deeper layers that hitherto had been unexposed as I’d never had an intellectual sparring partner to discuss this type of subject matter before. In his own unassuming way Loz showed me that there was an alternative form of sexual expression and identity isveçbahis giriş that I could claim and understand, but only if I wanted too.A good example of this came immediately at our first meeting when Loz asked me “Your profile says you like being rimmed on all fours. Why is that important then?” I thought through the question. He didn’t ask why I liked it, but rather why it was important. I informed him that I liked the subtlety of his question and he raised his eyebrows.I replied with, “Well in that position the guy has complete access to stroke my inner thighs, balls and my cock. It’s important because I like my hole stretched. I’ve found it’s the best way to stretch me as the rimmer can use both hands. I’ve been told it’s comfortable for him as well. Plus it always feels deeper when I’m on all fours, Loz.”Loz was a good sport and offered an additional benefit. He also liked that he could bend my cock back and reverse suck from this position. “Well, that’s a win-win for both of us Loz.” We laughed.I thought my answer was complete. Loz wasn’t convinced, asking me to think through it because it aired on the side of what I liked as opposed to the importance. I returned a week later with an updated analysis, realising my initial response was wrong. “I’ve had a proper little think Mr. It’s important because I have no visual contact or control on all fours. As I can’t see anything it kinda heightens my expectation. Each touch feels amplified Loz because I can’t see where it’s coming from or what to expect next. I mean, it could be his hands, tongue, or something else, I wouldn’t have a clue. It’s just fantastic.”I continued, “There’s also the power dynamic of submitting myself. I guess it gives me a chance to drop my guard, discharge all my responsibilities and allow my body to be subjugated by an experienced, skilled, or masterful guy right? I’m busy being the top guy at work and having to think for others so it’s nice to let go. I guess that’s why I admire and go looking for rimmers because they give me pleasure. I can let myself go and hand myself over. Plus all the dedicated rimmers I’ve met are smart guys. They seem to be different than most. I guess I’ve been lucky.” I smiled and concluded with, “Oh, just for the record I fucking love being rimmed on all fours mate.”Loz seemed impressed by my answer, kissed my forehead, and responded with, “You’re a regular little Sigmund Freud aren’t you?” I explained that I’d studied aspects of sociology, psychology, anthropology, and political sciences at university. And that I had a broad rather than deep appreciation of these subjects, though I tended not to apply the theory to myself or general life especially when it came to psychology.Like I said, discussions with Loz were never monotone. He was an intellectual sparring partner. He could enter into a maze of sexual topics at a deeper level and always find a way out. And I needed help and facilitation at times as I worked through the challenges of Loz’s probing questions. And the rimming question is just one example!As the weeks passed we became more relaxed in one another’s company. After sex, we’d lie back, kiss and chat. This was in stark contrast to my previous meets where I’d arrive, have a quick chat, be offered a drink, go to the bedroom, undress, have sex, and leave. For me, meeting men was just about sex. Loz said that he totally understood and he’d been the same.We didn’t have an exclusive relationship. I knew Loz was seeing other men and he’d mention things without going into the specifics unless I asked. During one session he informed me that he’d just returned from an all-expenses weekend break to London, where he paid the expenses for a guy he liked down there. I was also meeting other men but with work, my girlfriend, and knowing Loz was available I tended to search less but I still made time.Loz had a heightened sense of security that reassured me. After a couple of months, he became aware that the staff had noticed my company car parked outside the pharmacy late into the evenings. The girls lived locally and drove past en route to various locations after work. He’d overheard them gossiping. The fact that I was the only Asian in 10 square miles was unhelpful as this wasn’t the most cosmopolitan location with forward-thinking, progressive liberal ideas. Loz quickly addressed this.“Ladies, I know him. He’s a pharmaceutical manager that’s here to audit the shop’s processes as part of a new national scheme the governments launched. He’s important. If we fail to comply he’ll place us into special measures and can even close us down like the other isveçbahis yeni giriş pharmacy that was in the paper, remember?” The women took the matter seriously, after all their livelihoods depended on it.“He has more than one pharmacy to manage. He’s like a regional manager so he’s busy and works late a couple of nights a week. I offered him some free office space and he accepted. It might put us in his good books right?” The women nodded, impressed with Loz’s offer. And that brought a swift end to the gossiping.To help with this guise Loz explained that I’d occasionally have to enter the shop whilst the girls were present and go around the back. Only Loz and his wife had the keys and keycode to the backroom where he dispensed the meds. The staff couldn’t enter as it was secure and strictly off-limits given that some of the drugs had a significant street value.The plan made sense. Loz could have developed any number of alternatives however my ethnicity worked to our advantage in this scenario because Asians are known to work in the medical profession. The staff bought it hook, line, and sinker including Loz’s wife.“Loz that’s ingenious, bravo. Now tell me about my salary expectations and promotional prospects in this role. And are different floor plans available for my office?” Loz enjoyed my sense of humour and laughed loudly.Loz was the one and only pharmacist at the practice. His staff worked on the checkouts, stacked the shelves, and cashed up, so there was never any danger that anyone would suddenly ask an informed question about my role. I would enter the shop carrying my laptop bag, say hello and Loz would guide me to the back of the pharmacy. I’d take out my laptop, place it on the desk and that was it. On occasions where I remained in the car, Loz would explain that I was probably on a conference call if anyone asked.In Loz I had found a true companion and friend. He’d demonstrated that I could trust him. He had my best interests at heart. I openly shared my thoughts, feelings, and aspirations about sex with men for the first time. He provided an environment where I could be honest without fear of any judgments, reprisals, or rejections. My connection with Loz was one of mutual respect. I respected his intellect, his work ethic, and thoughtfulness. It was after this initial two – three month period that we started to explore more.Our meets were always planned with military precision to ensure we maximise our time. Like me, Loz preferred unhurried meets and didn’t like placing a time limit on things. He’d closed the pharmacy around 17:00 and then did the books, stock take and said goodbye to the staff. I would arrive around 18:30 once the staff left or entered the shop. I’d know the precise arrangements when I called him from outside.On this occasion, Loz asked me to wait until the staff exited. I realised why as I watched his wife climb into her BMW 7 series and drive away. A couple of the girls walked past me and waved as I pretended to be on the phone.I entered the pharmacy via a side door that would already be open but I had to ensure that it was locked behind me.  Loz always came down to check just in case I made any mistakes. The side door led directly to a narrow dimly lit flight of stairs. At the top of the stairs was a corridor with 3 doors on the left spread evenly at 3 metre intervals with a final door at the end of the corridor. When we first met Loz explained the following. “Arun I use the rooms above the pharmacy as storage and an office, and I also have a bedroom here as I stay overnight when things are busy and I need to work late”. The bedroom was mostly used as his den of iniquity, though I’m sure on the rarest of occasions it was used for its stated purpose. The door at the end of the corridor was our playpen.  It was similar to a spacious hotel room with a three-seater sofa, TV, desk, coffee table, and a single bed. The room was well maintained, modern, clean, and smelt fresh.“So Arun, how have you been this past week?”“Good thanks Loz. Work was busy today. I thought I was going to have to cancel tonight but thankfully everything landed.”Loz raised eyebrows and his eyes widened. “Thank god for that. I’ve been thinking about you all week.”“Likewise. I had my girlfriend hassling me for sex last night but I wanted to save myself for you Mr.”“Aww, thanks Arun”“You should be thanking her. She was happy being licked and fingering for a change”“Didn’t she ask why?”“I just told her I was tired and needed to be up early. Plus I fucked her good the night before so she had no complaints.”Loz pecked me on the cheek and said, “I’m going for a shower, feel free to join me.”  He always asked and I always declined. I ensured that I’d arrive showered and smelling fresh. On this occasion, I threw caution to the wind and accepted. Loz acknowledged this with a huge smile.

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